Lost my dad a week before Christmas

This past year my dad was receiving treatment for prostate cancer, he had a dose of chemo and his levels were right down. He was tired but we were assured this was down to the effects of the chemo, but he would walk a little and be out of breath. It really frustrated my dad as he was very active, never been sick a day in his life until now.

The day he died he said he was having one of his "washed out days" ....3 hours later he passed away in the back on an ambulance due to a blood clot in his lung. I've heard this is common with patients with cancer but if it is then why wasn't dad checked for it when he said he was short of breath? I don't understand could something have been done before it led to this?

I'm completely heartbroken I just don't know what to do without my dad, we shared the same birthday which is due on Wednesday and I'm dreading it. He was so full of life and had so much he wanted to do like take my mum away and start living their life again and it's all gone. I just don't understand.

 

Thank you 

  • Dear law1701

    my thoughts go out to you

    If only “what ifs” could be reverted, my dad passed away 16 months ago from CUP (cancer unknown primary) but like you, when he passed I kept thinking that if only he had not had a raised birubin levels or if only I had discovered juicing would that have kept It down for him to have continued his chemo. I challenged my brain daily and was horrible to my mind.

    i had gone away to Bournemouth for the weekend , as although my dad was unwell, I never ever thought he would be taken so quickly, naive is what I was. I drove back on time to spend some hours before his passing over. 

    my dad was due to go on a cruise a month before he passed with my mum and even renewed his passport. 

    I am a little further down the mourning line, and I would not like to say that it gets easier but probably more copeable and I suppose acceptance. I found little ways to comfort myself which seemed to help. 

    Please take care and take one day at a time, it really is the only way, birthdays , Easter, Father’s Day , Xmas are nver felt the same to me anymore , they to me are now just another day