Hi sorry about your husband wow just two days and your reaching out to otheres to support them . Nice you have support because its a nightmare i didnt beleive that they come back but i do now .give him time dont look for things you may notice little things happen or the bed feels warm or find feathers my friend on here found feathers all over .or electrical stuff whatever it is after we will never see it or the whole world will want to go when your feeling a bits stronger theres a lot of people had thing .help take your mind off things just for a short time at least .best wishs keep posting you will get people chatting its realy helpfull if your alone and feeling low bless you .paul

So so sorry , your hubby lost his fight with this horrible, crule cancer ... so just want to send you all a hug .. I found signs when I wasn't looking for them ... many times over the years ... so just hang on .. 

It's only been days ... so everything will feel different ... give your self time ... those feelings are normal .. sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

one of the last things he said was I had to keep reaching out to support people even though I'm heartbroken myself (always did this with other patients when we was in hospital etc) and he was proud of me for that.

I think that's something everyone on here can help in doing as we all know how one another must be feeling.

I really hope he does return home as thats one thing that I held onto when he said it as gave me some comfort and have felt more upset that he hasn't made me aware he's here yet. 

Thanks Paul. 

Thanks Christie,

Im looking hard and that's maybe where I'm going wrong and missing them, I know if he can he would return here to be with us.

It's a strange feeling that I want to be happy for him that he isn't suffering anymore but I'm devastated for us that's left.

Cancer is cruel, I have never seen anyone suffer like he has and that's me been nieve as I guess until it affects your life personally you don't realise the struggle people have everyday. 

Thankyou for the hug xx

Hi there ..

He sounds ausome... so do you ... one thing I have shared on here often is, my mum went from a sudden heart attack in 1989 ... many many things have happened along the way , even with my son's who she adored .. I'll share just two ..

Firstly my oldest son had a bike accident about 6 years ago .. one side skidded on the road .. it was hard to believe he came through ... I rushed to the hospital, where they were doing tests .. as I went over they took his helmet off ... there on his forhead was a perfect kiss mark in the same colour lipstick my mum wore ... that's were she was always kissing him when he was small .. nothing inside his helmet was dented ... nothing could have caused it ...

The second was the day I was diagnosed with a grade 3 breast cancer in 2017 ... from that day , l found white feathers everywhere ... esp in my bra .. every day ... after my masectomy  and the day l was told the lump was contained and no lymph nodes affected... they stopped ... 

I think at the moment everything is too raw .. please just do what you know he wanted of you ... like me, l just wanted to help people like my mum had shown me ... she cared for everyone, even strangers ... so that's how I tried to get through every day without her .. l know what she would have said to me ... she loved laughter and had an amazing sense of humour ... 

So my hunny , tell yourself it's o.k to feel whatever it is your feeling .. it's all part of missing someone we were blessed to have had in our lives .. life is never the same .. the pain eases with time .. but missing them stays always .. we just learn to live with it .. you will have hard days, and days where you'll think of a good memory and smile ...

Cancer took your man .. it wants to brake everyone involved .. it wants us to just stay on that last painfull journey ... don't let it ... he was far more then cancer ... that was a small part ... keep bringing back your fondest memory .. close your eyes and relive it slowly .. how it made you feel .. when he was cancer free .. if cancer ever takes me, the last thing I'll do is stick two fingers up to it ... 

Sending another little hug ... Chrissie

Hi there,

I am so sorry about your husband, and only two days so still really raw. I am about 20 weeks along from losing my wonderful husband, and I still can't quite believe it when I write down the words. Although we had 6 months after diagnosis, the final days came too sudden to even get him to a hospice so he died in hospital. I still cry every single day, I feel so low some days that I feel I just can't go on. I haven't had any signs either, and although we didn't discuss it, I know if there is any way he could give me a sign and reassure me, he would. Perhaps, as others say, it is too soon. 

For me it's the loneliness that gets me, I can be in a crowded room and still be yearning for my John. I have to cling on to people who post, like Paul and Chris when they say it does get better. It's all I have.

We had no children and I am an only child and both my parents are gone too, so I am pretty much on my own. I do have good friends, and they are a comfort to me. John and I had a love of animals and have had horses through out our lives, but sadly our old horse Reuben, died suddenly 3 months before John did. So I have taken a step forward, I hope,  and have got another horse. Pippy.  He won't replace, John or even Reuben, but I hope it will put a routine and some sort of purpose back in my life. 

Its a hard road we have to travel and sadly we are all in the same boat. When I am low I come on this forum. It makes you realise that you're not alone in your journey. The feelings are common to all of us and I just try to take one day at a time. Tackle tomorrow when tomorrow comes. 

Take care of yourself and I am sending you my love, and I know what you are going through. 

Much love Heather. X

Hi heather glad to here i was thinking how you were getting on i think your both great for coming on here giving support yes i think lonely in a crowd is a good way of putting it . Dont you think althoe it just seems normal how your new horse is arriving soon just when you need a friend is that coinsidence or something else .i see you mentiond crissie and i saying it gets better well ime sticking to it on the risk of a good telling of by you and otheres the telling fibs police will be marching me away but i know they will not rome wasnt built in a day i beleve it to a few months just to do the toilets and closeum  all wewcan do is carry on one so our loved ones are rememberd but the wonderfull lovely times not the rotten time one food forward do your best its all a learning circle i think we will all be a bit kinder wiser people . Regards paul 

My thought and prayers to him and condolences to you and children! It’s not easy to accept such a loss . My experience is the first week especially after 3 days would difficult . You should focus on your children as they are god’s gift to you and be strong for them ! Please try to soround yourself with family and friends and try not to be alone ! Time is cure in hard time ! God bless you and your children ! 

Hi heather just a sugestion it works for me why dont you try privat messaging brokenmam its amazing how a text or two each day can help with someone who understands i have a chum on here she has pulled me through i know you said you have no children but in these situations although the try to help there not much help in this situation because they just see me as dad a virtual understanding chum is a godsend . If i seem a bit jokey sometimes its my way of dealing with things ill iot mention it again and you dont need to .best wishs .paul

I am going through a vary similar thing as my daughter passed away from colon cancer and it was very difficult to go through but you just need to stay positive and make sure that you celebrate the time that you had with him. it makes it a lot easier.