Hello Grandma77.  My sympathy is with you as you have just lost your husband and I am pleased you have posted your thoughts about this here.  It must be heartbreaking that he went through all that gruelling treatment which ultimately had little long-term effect.  Of course there is just no way of knowing what would have transpired if he had not had all the treatment you listed; we can only do what seems to be the right thing at the time.  It sounds as though you are part of a strong family who will go through this together; just take things day by day as the longer future may look to be too difficult at this time.  It is good you celebrated your 40th wedding anniversary as that is a memory to hold onto when things are bad.  This will doubtless be a hard time for everyone with a grandad-shaped hole in your family so be kind to yourselves and talk to each other about what you are feeling.  Maybe we will hear from you again if you want to talk about how you are getting on.  Annie

Hi Grandma77

Just wanted to post and express sympathy for your loss.  Like you I had/still have strong support from my children and had young grandchildren when my husband died. Talking and being there for each other whilst taking each day gently keeps those wonderful memories in your heart. As Annie says the forum is always here to listen should you need it.  Sometimes it is just helpful to chat to others who understand but are not so emotionally linked to your personal journey.  Remember to look after yourself too. Jules

Hi Christine,

I was thinking of you only yesterday and had intended to ask for an update.

I am so sorry to read this sad news. I send my sincere sympathy to you and your family. It has been a tough journey for both you and your husband and I expect that it will be a difficult time for you for some time to come. It is good that you seem to have a close family and a younger generation of grandchildren to keep you going. I hope that between you all you can continue to talk about him and recall happier times.

 Forty years is a long time to live with a loved one and you are fortunate that he has remained a loved one throughout this time. However, this makes the time ahead more difficult, because as you said, it will leave a huge hole at the family table for many years to come. You are a strong lady and I am sure that you will work with your family to make a life for the 3 little ones in the upcoming generation.

Don’t forget that we are always here for you, if ever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx