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Losing my mum at 24

20 Jul 2019 21:15

I lost my mum earlier this year to cancer, she was my best friend and the sunshine of my life and even though I feel that I am coping better than I thought I would I also can’t comprehend how I can live my life without her. 

She was the strongest most amazing woman in the whole entire world, even the nurses at the hospice would call her Joy instead of her real name because she was so friendly and kind to them even at the end. 

I feel very alone, I have a great family, friends and boyfriend but I hate to be a burden to anyone by talking about what’s happening and I can’t talk to dad about it because I want to support him and not put anymore emotional strain on him. 

I don’t think reality has truly set in yet that this has happened and she is gone, I’m worried that one day I will snap and realise she is never coming back. I know I am strong and I will get through it but I can’t help feeling very along and that the only thing that will make it better is having mum back. I just wish I could hear her voice and she could tell me what to do. 

Losing my mum at 24

21 Jul 2019 08:25 in response to Alicelou

I am sorry for your loss. My wife died a week ago and I know how you feel.iknow what you’ mean about hearing there voice again .my thoughts are with you. 

Mike. 

Losing my mum at 24

21 Jul 2019 11:40 in response to Alicelou

Hello Alicelou. 

It’s been six weeks since I lost my Mum so I know exactly what you’re going through. I’m 31. I feel exactly the same as you so you are not alone. It’s crazy how unbelievably lonely life is without them isn’t it? I’m surrounded by friends and family and have a wonderful boyfriend but there isn’t anything that can compare to her. She kept me going and was my best friend just like your Mum was to you.

Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I have booked in to start one in a few weeks and think this may help a little bit. It’s nice to talk to someone outside of your daily life. As you mentioned feeling like a burden, and I do too.

I think the reality is you have to learn a new way of living, and the feeling doesn’t really go away. I’ve been going through a whole range of emotions, wanting to move away, change jobs, and completely change my life. Nothing fits anymore without her and everything feels pointless.

I’m sure your Mum was just like mine in the sense that she did everything she could to make you happy and wanted you to live life to the full. My Mum was my biggest supporter, I know she would want me to be smiling and your Mum would too. That’s what is keeping me going.

Plus I’m hoping my Mum is reunited with her Mum my Gran, and that thought keeps me going too. 

People don’t seem to understand, and even if they have experienced loss, your grief is unique to you. It can be very difficult and isolating. Keep talking, it helps. Always here if you want to chat.

Sending love and strength 

Katie

xxxxx

 

 

Losing my mum at 24

23 Jul 2019 12:21 in response to Alicelou

Hi Alicelou,

I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that my Mum is nearing the end now and I am also 24 and in the same position as you. Some days, the first thing I do in the morning is call Macmillan, even if I don't know what to say at first. It's just like having a conversation with someone who understands what you're going through and sometimes they pick up on something you've said and are able to give you some advice, or they're just there while you get everything off your chest. It always makes me feel a bit better afterwards. 

I can relate to the last bit you said so much, maybe it's just a part of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, except instead of it being a shock or you "snapping", you will just slowly come to accept it over time. x