I am sorry for your loss. My wife died a week ago and I know how you feel.iknow what you’ mean about hearing there voice again .my thoughts are with you. 

Mike. 

Hello Alicelou. 

It’s been six weeks since I lost my Mum so I know exactly what you’re going through. I’m 31. I feel exactly the same as you so you are not alone. It’s crazy how unbelievably lonely life is without them isn’t it? I’m surrounded by friends and family and have a wonderful boyfriend but there isn’t anything that can compare to her. She kept me going and was my best friend just like your Mum was to you.

Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I have booked in to start one in a few weeks and think this may help a little bit. It’s nice to talk to someone outside of your daily life. As you mentioned feeling like a burden, and I do too.

I think the reality is you have to learn a new way of living, and the feeling doesn’t really go away. I’ve been going through a whole range of emotions, wanting to move away, change jobs, and completely change my life. Nothing fits anymore without her and everything feels pointless.

I’m sure your Mum was just like mine in the sense that she did everything she could to make you happy and wanted you to live life to the full. My Mum was my biggest supporter, I know she would want me to be smiling and your Mum would too. That’s what is keeping me going.

Plus I’m hoping my Mum is reunited with her Mum my Gran, and that thought keeps me going too. 

People don’t seem to understand, and even if they have experienced loss, your grief is unique to you. It can be very difficult and isolating. Keep talking, it helps. Always here if you want to chat.

Sending love and strength 

Katie

xxxxx

Hi Alicelou,

I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that my Mum is nearing the end now and I am also 24 and in the same position as you. Some days, the first thing I do in the morning is call Macmillan, even if I don't know what to say at first. It's just like having a conversation with someone who understands what you're going through and sometimes they pick up on something you've said and are able to give you some advice, or they're just there while you get everything off your chest. It always makes me feel a bit better afterwards. 

I can relate to the last bit you said so much, maybe it's just a part of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, except instead of it being a shock or you "snapping", you will just slowly come to accept it over time. x