Losing my mum

My mum died just over 2 years ago, when I was 14, I am now 16 and nothing has seemed to get better. Before mum died, she was my preferred parent as bad as it sounds I would spend all my time with her, she was my everything, even sleeping with her until the day she died. She was battling cancer for over a year, having 2 types during the time and later suffering with phenmonia to then being given 2 weeks to live.

 I’m still so broken, nothing seems good anymore, I’ve been through so many councilours and therapists but nothing has helped me. Through all the mothers days; thinking my children won’t have a grandmother or she won’t be at my wedding. Especially prom comming up, I’ve chosen my dress but thinking I won’t have her input upsets me so much. Seems to me that everyone avoids the subject of mum now, people irritate me more and I just feel like I’m on my own and no one knows how I feel. Life is just so rubbish, nothing seems to get better. 

If I was able to see her again, I would give up everything as she was my everything and it seemed to be taken so quickly. Ofcourse she was such a caring person, positively impacting the world, helping people through her job, so loving and caring but now it’s been taken from the world for no good reason. All just hard to cope with and I get so low 

  • Hi, I just wanted to say I (sort of) know how you feel. I lost my Dad suddenly when I was 15 (7 years ago) and 2 weeks ago I lost my Mum to cancer. It's been weird since losing my Mum because it's quite different to when I lost my Dad and now I know why. When I lost my Dad, I was young (like you) and it was all a bit unknown, I didn't know what to expect and I never really believed it was real. There are good days and bad days but I can tell you that you eventually accept it, and though you will always miss her, you will look back and think about the happy times. Losing my Mum, I'm devastated and still a bit in shock but because I lost my Dad - I know what to expect. And I know that things will get better, but it's one day at a time. Since losing my Mum, all the same things went through my head. I keep thinking about getting married and choosing a dress and having children without her being there. My friends also avoid talking about it and I think it's because they care so much that they'll say the wrong thing. No one knows how you feel unless they've been through the same situation. I can promise you though, this will make you a stronger person and you know to value the important things in life and ignore the petty stuff whereas others who have the privilege of not going through such horrendous grief will never be as resilient as you. I hope you start to feel better.
  • Thank you very much, it’s really helpful hearing from people in the same situations.

    I hope that you okay too, as you say things eventually get better it just takes time but you have got so many people around you

    Thank you again for your message it means a lot 

    Hope all is well

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