Hi Sarah

Thank you for your kind words and I’m really sorry to hear you lost your mum. 

It’s just the most horrible thing seeing someone you love fade away bit by bit and being powerless to stop it, isn’t it? 

I will try and take each day as it comes as you say. I wish my dad could stay with us forever but he’s suffering so much now it’s just cruel. At the minute I think we are torn between starting to grieve already and still holding onto the tiniest shred of hope that things might improve. 

You are right that we are stronger than we know. Thank you for reminding me of that.

Take care x

Firstly, sorry to hear what you and your family are going through.

Secondly, we are going through near the exact same thing.  7 months ago my dad started having seizures, long story short he has lung cancer that spread to his brain.

We have just been told that they don’t have anything more they can do for him, they think by his rate of decline that he doesn’t have long left.

Im sort of stuck for what to say now apart from I know what you are going through

Hi Daisy, 

Just wanted to send a message to say that I'm really sorry for what you are going through. I lost my Dad just over 2 months ago. We didn't know he had cancer until it was far far too late and he died 7 weeks later. 

As Sarah said in some ways this awful limbo land is possibly worse in some ways, you feel so utterly helpless, destroyed and unable to believe that they are slipping away. 

I really don't know how I've coped with what life has thrown at me and at times I havnt coped but somehow your brain and body powers you through each day one step at a time.  I'm only scratching the surface of grief loosing my Dad so recently but I've come to the conclusion I have no choice but to carry on. 

My Dad was far too young too as am I, I'm 29 and he was 63 I too feel so sad that the things i thought he would see he will no longer it torn me apart seeing a bride the other day with her father where I work but I know he's always with me in some way even if not physically. Love runs so deep that you keep them alive inside of you always. 

Being there holding his hand and making him feel so loved is literally all you can do. 

Sending you much love and feel free to add me as a friend and message anytime, this place helped me no end in my deepest darkest days. 

Rosie xx

Hi there...

I think you've had some wonderfull replys here, esp from Sarah.... this is a wonderfull place to come to "let it all out"  and know those here know how heartbraking it is ... 

I lost both my parents in my 30s... mum really quick from a heart attack ... and yes that not being able to say how proud I was to have had her for my mum ... what I'd give for just one more hour with her ...

But when you said he won't see your children, l felt that about my boys and their children will never know how amazing my mum was ... so I made an album full of photos and stories ... and l tell their children all about her ... and my son's still put pictures of her on their face book ... 30 years after loosing her ...

I made a memory book for my granddaughter (in pic) since she was one .. with pictures and stories of our time together ... all the funny things she said ... all the pantomimes and shows l took her too .. as I'm a breast cancer lady ... and l know how time is precious ... so she will always be able to look back and know how much I loved her .. you can do that later, and when them grandkids come along of his .. you can pass on all the things that made your dad, amazing ... 

You will never loose him, you are half of him, he will go on through you ... he will stay tucked up safe in your heart for ever ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie

Hi Daisy (and everyone),

I was so sorry to read your story. I lost my beloved Dad recently. I totally relate to the feeling of fear about how you will cope when things decline further. I was afraid to the point of being unable to speak openly about the fact that Dad was going to die. I used euphemisms for words like ‘dying’ and struggled to listen to the latest medical information because I had no idea how I could possibly live through it and come out the other side. But when those final weeks and days came, I was able to nurse him to his final moments, and I didn’t leave his side. When it is actually happening, you cope because – in a sense – there is nothing to do but cope. I was so consumed with checking medical equipment, fetching things etc., helping him stay comfortable and looking after other family members that my own fear didn’t get a look in. It sounds as though you have managed to be wonderfully supportive of your Dad throughout his illness. If you’ve shown this sort of strength so far, you will manage what is to come. At the end of the day (cheesy as it may sound), love and courage just take over when you most need them to. Wishing you all the best. Xx

Hi Rosie

I’m so sorry to hear you lost your dad. It is absolutely heartbreaking. It must all still seem so surreal. How are you doing at the moment? 

I’m scared of how I will cope, my Dad has always been my hero but this last couple of years my whole life has revolved around his journey. I work full time in a really stressful job and am also studying a masters at university (at weekends) but I’ve spent all my spare time either with my dad or researching his condition, treatment options etc. We’ve sat by his side through so many treatments, I just can’t believe we’re now at this point

I know exactly what you mean. My heart literally aches for all the things my dad will miss already. 

My dad’s had such a rollercoaster journey, even these last couple of weeks. Last week we were told he was in his final hours or days but he’s still here now. He’s suffering so much though which is heart breaking. It’s not just the physical side but I can see the pain in his eyes. 

I feel as though I’m coping when I’m in our little bubble at home caring for dad but I can’t cope with the thought of the world outside these 4 walls, that everything else just carries on when our world is falling apart here but I know that’s the way of the world. 

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sending my love to you too, I’m sure your dad would be incredibly proud of the way you are coping.

xx

Hi Chrissie

Really sorry to hear you lost both your parents and that you have been affected by this awful disease yourself. How are you at the moment? 

Your words really struck a chord with me. What a beautiful idea with the memory albums. When I have children I will certainly make sure they know all about my dad.

There’s still a tiny part of me clinging onto the fact we might get a miracle at the end of all this and my dad might make it through but deep inside I know he can’t fight much more. He’s given it all he has.

You are so right that I am half of my dad. Everyone always says I’m so much like him. 

Thank you again.

Take care xx

Thank you Sarah. You are right, I’m so grateful to have been able to hold my dads hand and tell him how proud I am.

This site seems to be such a great to support to so many people.

xx