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Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

23 Feb 2021 08:24

I recently lost my amazing wife 7th Feb aged just 43 years to cancer, she battled so hard and endured so much for us. We have four boys together 19,17,12 and 5 and they have been fantastic supporting each other and me.

I have to carry on for them and try and be upbeat, but yesterday we buried her and to be honest I could have just got in with her,  the prospect of going another 30 years or so without her, through Christmas, Holidays, birthdays, first grandchildren etc is not a good one, I  dont really know what anyone can say or do but I find it hard to tell people I know how I really feel

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

23 Feb 2021 08:59 in response to Anon1975

Oh my ... so so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... too many are being taken by this heartless crule cancer ... it's not fare ... but on here you can let it all out ... we've all been touched by cancer ... I've got breast cancer, though still fighting 3 years down the line ... 

I lost my granddaughter to acute myeloid leukaemia a few months ago.... she was 18 ... so this grief is shared by so many on here ... there's a couple other men lost their wives and finding it hard getting through the day .. hopefully one will see your thread and pop on ...

What I'd say, is don't look ahead ... live in the day .. just think "I'll get through today" ... and forgive your self ... it's o.k to feel those feelings ... sadly there's no easy way through raw grief ... try and get Rio Ferdinand book .. he tells his story , very like yours ... it may help ...

Try to make some time where you can do "normal" stuff your child needs .. he will need you to hold his little hand ... and if he sees you cry, that's o.k .. just tell him , your missing his mummy ... and then he can cry and know that's o.k ... it's getting the balance right, while your heart breaks ... gentle truth is always good ... hopefully his older siblings can look after him with you to help you through ...

Just today ... do today ... you'll always find someone here to be a shoulder to lean on ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie .....

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

23 Feb 2021 10:07 in response to Anon1975

Hi mate I'm sorry for your loss I know exactly what you're feeling why did it have to be her why did she get cancer in the first place why God can you save her! I Lost my wife to breast cancer on 22nd of December last year she was 39 she left me a nine-year-old in a beautiful two-year-old which is a bit of a struggle! Before she died I promised her to look after the children because she knew all I really want to do was go with her But I know she wants me to live my life the best I can! How hard is that they when you've lost your soulmate your best friend your everything your love her words can't describe how much I hate cancer every day I wish my wife was here! I have found comfort in the dreams I get and hide and white feathers everywhere on the ground looks like signs that she is okay but all you really want is the person you love back to the way they were  I'm here if you wanna talk 

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

23 Feb 2021 19:34 in response to Chriss

Hi Chris's thank you for replying and your kind words, I don't really know what I'm looking for. Your right I have to carry and try and be happy it's their lives that count now and I can't let it impact  on them any more than it already has, they are fantastic boys and need to make sure that they make the most of their own lives and that's all I can do. I am so sorry to hear about your granddaughter your family must be in despair there are no words that can come close to explaining that, and I also hope that your own battle is a successful one it's only now I have realised how many lives this disease has shattered

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

23 Feb 2021 19:51 in response to Chris2020

Hi chris2020, thank you for replying to my message, like I said in the last post, I dont even know what I'm looking for here, I just can't comprehend what happened, she was only diagnosed last October after suffering with a bad back, I packed in work to look after her and we survived by whatever means, she was so positive and brave the whole time and watching her deteriorate so quickly just destroys reality, I have to carry on for our boys and pretend to be ok  but in truth I dont really want to be here anymore and I dont ever want to get over her  i want to be miserable for the rest of my days that's how i feel at the moment 

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

23 Feb 2021 21:16 in response to Anon1975

Hi mate thanks forgetting back to me I know exactly how you're feeling all I would say is You don't need to pretend it for your kids I cry all the time in front of them and they cry back and then we try and move forward together. I know exactly what you're saying about not wanting to move on and stay like this because he loved her so much she misses things that she used to do even all the fun stuff in the bedroom! It's okay to feel like that I feel like that too It's been about 9 weeks Since my wife died honestly say it's been the hardest nine weeks of my life I miss everything about her the perfect figure literally everything But I remember how she thought for her life and almost made me promise to live my life and look after the boysThat's what I'm focusing on at the moment  

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

26 Feb 2021 18:48 in response to Anon1975

Hello mate just checking in hope you're okay oh no obviously it's a stupid question but I've been going through the same kind of grief with you I know how hard horrible this is Like you say 43 years old it's nothing at all my wife is 39 cancer it's horrible it's destroyed my life finds it very hard to live without my wife but obviously we go on for the boys just can't see no way out

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

4 Mar 2021 05:17 in response to Chris2020

Hi chris how are you, trying to carry on and do the things you have to do I suppose, life is just a blur at the moment,  I constantly get told I'll be ok I have the boys to focus on which is true, but they don't seem to get what we've lost, we do what we need to, say what we need to, laugh when your supposed to but there is no feeling inside, life is fairly daunting at the moment.

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

4 Mar 2021 08:20 in response to Anon1975

Everything you  said in that text is exactly how I feel mate  I feel like I'm going through life being pushed in what I'm supposed to say!  But the truth is I don't understand why this happened I don't understand why it's my family that's made to suffer when there are loads of evil people out there why did someone say kind and gentle with my wife to get this? I've gone through my whole life working hard getting what I want and the only thing I wanted more than ever was to save my wife and obviously I failed? Everything is hard work last night I put my two-year-old in the bath stood there crying for ages are used to do it together my wife's birthday is at The end  of the month she was going to be 40  I really don't wanna go on like this but I have to! Well this one is going to school today before the schools come back Monday just so we can talk to the teachers what nine-year-old has to do with this? What are used to go to Florida as much as we could feels like none of us want to go back there ever again things really have changed 

Losing beautiful wife and mum 43yrs

4 Mar 2021 09:26 in response to Chris2020

Thinking of you today Chris. 
Mike.