Hi there ...

What your feeling, many have felt before you ... another sinario that's completely different but the same outcome is some women who have longed for a baby, finally get pregnant .. sail through pregnancy , give birth to a healthy much loved baby, then get post natal depression .. which is so hard to understand .. but it happens .. they get help and there's information on post natal depression ...

Then why is so little being addressed for those who go through the trauma of cancer .. yes trauma .. are not comming to terms with being "clear" or "cancer free" not treated as a condition too ... l think we change with a cancer diagnosis...  some in a positive way ... but we are never quite the same person we once was .. 

So many people think once we have a good prognosis,  that it's "great, let's go back to normal and not talk about it then"  when after a trauma, of any kind, it needs talking about and processing all those feelings along the way of that journey ... and the added minus with cancer is the fear of it all comming back, which we have to live with every day .. yet who's there to listen ... when they think we should put it behind us ...

Well hunny, your not alone ... and if someone somewhere without cancer reads this, and says to their loved one / friend ... if you ever feel the need to talk about how you feel now, I'm listening ... then it's a step towards progress ... 

Untill then, you come on here and write down your feelings and know it's o.k .. lots of us know how that feels .. and sometimes in writing down feelings we can process them in our heads and make some sort of sense to feeling that way .. 

Lastly .. think what journey you've had from begining to now .. and say to yourself .. you have a right to feel whatever it is at this time ... you've been on the scariest rollercoaster ever made .... so yes your greatfull and over the moon, your now getting off the ride .. but oh my what a scary ride you've just had .

Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie  

Hi abigail  glad you've finished treatment and got all clear,, i know there's always that thought about it coming back, but you want to look forward to a normal life even if its only one day at a time you can't change the future, all of us on the forum have the same thoughts been there done that, the more you think about it coming back the worse you're going to be, I now it's hard but try to consontrate on the good things you are going to do with your new life the past has gone the future is in front of you, what you are going to do and what you want to do, best wishes... Billy 

Hi Abigail 

I finished my treatment for anal cancer on 14th June , I too was given the all clear on the 8th August , I seem to be at the same place as you , very low mood , heightened anxiety and just generally struggling to get back on track , I have been to the drs and given antidepressants , I think this is something many people deal with and is quite normal to have these feelings , I feel I should be happy but struggling to get there .

Lisa x

Hi, I finished treatment for breast cancer 2 years ago, I felt guilty for not being thrilled at the all clear. I felt I was moving on to the next stage, getting over the horrendous treatment and adjusting to the new normal it had left me with, so it isn’t actually over. The illness has changed me, I have always put work and others first, the job that I worked so many unpaid hours for because I needed to do a good job, I have walked away from it, now doing something rewarding but manageable. You are still recovering, if you want to rest it’s fine. I felt I needed to keep quiet about feeling down, now that I can look back on how I felt I realise I should have asked for counselling of some sort, to help me understand my feelings. It does actually slowly get easier to manage. Good luck, keep well x