Awful news. But I'm fairly sure, although I'm not a medic, that kidney cancer is often curable. So your wife has a great chance. I wish you and your wife all the luck in the world.  Harry

Hi

i too have just been diagnosed with kidney cancer. It’s a toughie for partners. My fella keeps me going with humour and a promise to not treat me any different. It has helped. I too am waiting for scans and appointments, the wait is the worst but embarking on this journey together will give you a deeper connection, you will both support each other. Good luck to you and your wife. Keep us updated on how things are going.x

Just wanted to say hi, I’m Jo, I’m 44 and was diagnosed with kidney cancer last October ! I had a 9.5cm in my left kidney which was operated on ( radical nephrectomy) left kidney and tumour removal !  I can totally emphasise with you guys and if I can help by answering and questions, please just ask xx

Like so many others, this is a journey that my wife and I were totally unprepared for and at a complete loss of what comes next, after doing some reasearch we came across this book:

The Fabulous Woman's Guide Through Cancer: A Lifestyle Guide to Help you Through

Bourne, Nicola

This book is a fantastic insight into Cancer and what we can sort of expect, shining light into the dark areas to which we had no idea upon or were even aware of. I am not selling the book, but if like my wife and I knowledge of cancer was next to nothing then this is a great mind opener, with a tiny bit of humour thrown in for good measure. Well worth a read and nice and cheap if you have a kindle.

Mark

Hi Jo, thank you for posting. I had a radical nephrectomy last Friday. The tumour was 14cms but even so the surgeons managed to remove it through keyhole surgery. My recovery has been fast and I’m home today so just three days in hospital. Can I ask you what your diagnosis was and what if any treatment you have had since? And also how long it took you to get fit again and whether you have any personal recommendations of diets or exercises that have helped you? Drs think my tumour is cancerous but from the scans said it hadn’t spread anywhere so that’s good but they were very vague about overall prognosis. 

Wishing you very good health, Caroline.

Dear Mark, I hope you and your wife are doing well. I have just had my kidney removed with 14cm tumour and what I can tell you was the whole process was nowhere near as bad as I feared. Please get in touch if you or your wife want to ask any questions relating to the op and immediate few days after.

i see my poor beloved husband struggling to deal with this. We have promised each other to be honest about our feelings, to be gentle with each other and we know we will get through this somehow just like you will. I hope you are able to reassure your wife that she will always be gorgeous in your eyes.  I’m 60 and Brian is 65 but our relationship is still very romantic and physical and I do need a bit of reassurance that my grossly swollen tummy (gas) and scars aren’t going to put him off me for life. Other than that, the cups of tea, the thoughtfully small amounts of food he prepares for me and just his presence are wonderful gifts. 

Also, it might be different for your wife, I don’t need a Brian (or anyone) to try to make conversation with me. Sometimes silence is just fine. And he is putting limits on visitors for me. I love my family and friends to bits but 10 minutes can be enough when you’re feeling rough! 

Hope this helps a bit. Love, Caroline. 

Hi Caroline, My surgery was open surgery so took quite a while to recover though I did go back to work full time after 4 months! I try and eat more healthily but also take tumeric tablets and cbd oil from Holland and Barrett x are you on Facebook if so add me i now do fundraising for kidney cancer and have joined a kidney cancer site where so many people have helped me x Joanne gregory xx

Thanks so much for replying and I’m so glad things are now going well for you. I’m not on Facebook. I would love to know more about kidney cancer and raising awareness of but don’t want to join Facebook! 

Love, Caroline. X