Hello.  Sadly there are other posts on this forum about the loss of a child.  So many often rare cancers which don't always seem to get the funding for research.  I found the posts by typing "losing a child" into the box above this post which reads "Search forum"; you will get a variety of responses some of which will be relevant to your tragic experience.  I know of a song which goes "What would you be today?" which is horribly poignant and appropriate.  I am sure you have memories of Suki around your home and your other children feel they "know" their sibling.  B....y cancer that takes away the people we love.  It is particularly bad at Christmas for anyone who has been bereaved.  My best wishes.