Hello Nicolec86 and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

I am so sorry to hear your mum has been diagnosed with cancer of both lungs and that it has spread to the liver. I hope that she will have her biopsy soon so that she can have a clear treatment plan. It's normal to feel really scared and to anticipate the worst as you find yourself having to deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what her treatment options might be. It's really sad to be having those conversations about Christmas- try not to dwell on those dark thoughts especially as you don't have a prognosis yet. 

You mentioned your mum is in denial at the moment and it may be the way she is trying to deal with it all at the moment. It must be really hard for your dad. It's very nice of you to be wanting to see them and hopefully they will tell you when they are feeling ready to see their loved ones - perhaps they just need a little bit of time to process everything. Keep doing what you are doing and reaching out to them to show that you are there and happy to visit them when they feel ready. 

Hopefully you will have some more answers soon after the biopsy results which will give you a clearer idea of treatment. In the meantime, feel free to give our nurses a call at any time or to pass their number on to your parents if they ever have any questions and want to talk to someone about anything. You can reach them on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

Our website has helpful information for Family, friends and caregivers which offers valuable tips on how to support someone with cancer and how to take care of yourself which is also very important when supporting a loved one with cancer. I hope that you will hear from other forum members who have been in a similar situation before and that they will be along shortly to share their story with you.

I hope that your mum finds out more soon about what her treatment plan might be. We're thinking of you during this difficult time and wanted you to know that you are not alone as many of our members will understand what you are currently going through.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

I'm sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. I don't have any advice but just wanted to say that your situation resonates with me so much. 

We found out on 15th September that by dad has metestatic cancer in the bones which is a secondary cancer and we still don't know where the cancer is coming from. We are waiting for him to have a bone marrow biopsy to hopefully know the type of cancer and prognosis etc.

My parents too have been married for nearly 50 years and have never been apart and I have no idea how my mum will cope without my dad.

I feel like I am in a nightmare with time moving forwards but also in limbo as I don't know what will happen in terms of prognosis etc. Christmas is looming and all I can think is that it might be my dad's last.

My brother doesn't understand the way I think and he is more positive and I am told that I am constantly looking for the worst rather than waiting to see what the doctors may be able to do. I go from feeling numb one minute to a crying mess the next.

I'm sorry I can't offer you any advice but I just wanted to say that I relate to what you have said and I do not feel like I am coping with any of this. I also feel alone.

Xx

Hi Lulu86

Thanks for taking the time to reply, it means a lot and I am sorry to hear are going through a similar situation. 
My mind had taken me to dark places and thoughts since finding out, but I have found that talking about it, my fears included, helps. I'm grateful to have my brothers and my Nan close by that I can take to for support. 
 

i've stopped googling as my MIL said something really helpful- there's no point in reading through and thinking the worst as even if you are prepared and it is bad news, it'll hit and hairy just as hard. 
 

I've actually seen my mum and dad this weekend and they have been out and about- their choice, which I am so ah out about. And my mum seems to be in good spirits about it- just taking ir day by day I guess. Biopsy is booked for early November, but hoping the consultant can push it forward

Thinking of you and your family and hope you get answers soon too x