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Just been told my dad has prostate cancer

6 Oct 2017 15:50

Hi, my dad aged 69 has just been told he has prostate cancer on right side of prostate. We don't know if it has spread, and he does not know what the gleeson score is yet. Does this only get told to you when you see the Oncologist? His PSA is 16. Been rising slowy from January this year, from 6 to 16. Had a biospy in June, and MRI in July. Now just been told it is cancer. But they have said they have found it early and he is more likely to die from a heart attack or stoke before the cancer. Does this timespan normally happen from rising PSA to bisopy/MRI to cancer result? If they had found it earlier/ done biospy earlier could it have been a better result, or more treatable? I am scared that the next news will be worse and I don't know how to deal with it. I want to keep dad calm so i'm trying not to ask him loads of questions of what the Urologist said to him. He read the prostate cancer leaflets he was given and he is now confused on what type he may have and he is very scared. I want to be prepared for the next stage of news so I know how to support him and my mum best. If anyone can let me know I would be very grateful. Thank you.

Re: Just been told my dad has prostate cancer

6 Oct 2017 16:11 in response to Henry17

Hi Henry,

I do understand what your saying. As someone who has had and recovered from prostate cancer Iknow the confusing thoughts. My psa was 70 when I was diagnosed but the mri/ ct scans showed the cancer was still contained within the prostate.

Ther is normally a two week period between each procedure before.your are told the result then the next procedure takes another two weeks and so on. Luckily most prostate cancer is slow growing so the delay shouldnt make much differnce.

I had two years on hormone therapy and in between had 37 radiotherapy sessions and I have made a good recovery. So I hope you can be reassured by my story.

Take care and wish your dad a good recovery just like I had, Brian

Re: Just been told my dad has prostate cancer

20 Nov 2017 18:24 in response to Henry17

I am not a doctor, but I went through this mill myself some 7 years ago, when I was aged 56.  I had surgery and so far I'm just fine. 

From what you say, it would appear that your father's case has been handled in an appropriate and timely manner.  

The good news is that it would appear that the cancer is still early stage and low aggression.  Prostate cancer in older men is often of the "pussycat" variety, where he will most likely die with the cancer rather than from the cancer. No doubt he will continue to be monitored and if treatment is required, then he will receive it. But I'm aware of two men who received diagnoses in their 70s, and who don't require treatment, just monitoring.  

Of course, this is a worrying time for you, but I found for myself that what helped most was actual information. If he hasn't done so already, he should ask for as much information about his particular cancer as possible (particularly numbers, stages, grades, etc), and also should ask for a copy of every letter sent to his GP to be sent to him. I found these invaluable. 

Some people with cancer feel the need to hide what's happening from their loved ones. They do this out of misguided love and loyalty, thinking that they're shielding them from worry - when the reverse is actually the case!  If you think your father is doing this, then I suggest you have a word with him and ask him to share all letters, information, etc, with you, so you can know as much about this as he does.  Or maybe you can accompany him on his next hospital visit and you can ask questions yourself. 

One final point. From your screen name and circumstances, I would guess that you're a man in his middle or late middle age. Have YOU had a PSA test? I suggest you discuss this with your GP and take his or her advice.  I had a PSA test when I was 54, and a cancer diagnosis at age 56, and now I'm 63 and still clear. I dread to think where I would be now if I hadn't asked for that test. 

Re: Just been told my dad has prostate cancer

8 Dec 2017 00:56 in response to Henry17

Hello, thank you for your posts. I have an update. Today we were told that the cancer is in local lymph nodes but not in bone, etc. Gleason score 7. Also the PSA level has dropped from 16 to 3.5. This is after the 2 months of hormone therapy. Dad is due to start chemotherapy in early January. 

Re: Just been told my dad has prostate cancer

8 Dec 2017 09:07 in response to Henry17

Hi Henry, 

I just saw your post and wanted to acknowledge the good news your dad has received since having his hormone therapy Happy

We'll have our fingers crossed the chemo is able to help his PSA level drop even further.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Just been told my dad has prostate cancer

8 Dec 2017 09:32 in response to Henry17

Hi my dad had prostrate cancer when he was 80 after an MOT on him because he was getting up in the night a lot. The radioographer asked him why did he want the treatment he said because I want to live.To which the reply was oh ok. He has now recovered and his psi nil. He is 86 now and always going shopping to town on the bus!! So even at that age recovery happens

Liz