Hi Rebecca. I think it is lovely that you are searching out memories of your dad, do you have photos to look at, maybe they would help you tonight? 

hi VPlum, 

i have loads of photos and videos on my phone, that I go through. My screensaver is a photo of me and my father on graduation day which I always find myself looking at throughout the day.I just can’t find some things that my dad have bought me and it’s something I can’t get out of my head. Just like the train tickets I could of sworn that I had them.

Hi I am awake listening to my partners breathing.  He is very ill and keep wondering if he will last the night . He is scaring me with strange noises.  I think the nights are worse and in the daylight you will find things that you are looking for or other things you had forgotten.  I feel for you x 

hi daffas6688,

I’m sorry to hear about your partner. Is there anyone you can call to see your partner? Just to put your mind at ease? I know exactly what you’re going through! It’s been almost 4 weeks now. If you need someone to talk to, you know where I am x

Thank you. It's so late . I may have to phone 111. He breathing ok now but our paramedic friend taking for a trip to the the beach tomorrow.  Probably his last outing.... my partner wants me to call him to cancel.  And the guy just done a 12 hour shift. I would only call him with concerns about my partners health but he would onky advise calling doctor.  He says he feels fine but I am worrying him by keep fussing over him. I think I will have to contact hospice tomorrow so they can assess whether they need to help me. Looking after him 24/7 is very tiring 

He sleeping nicely.  I am going to cuddle up next to him and try and get a little sleep myself . I'm basically awake all day and most of night at moment and think the nights make me notice things that were probably there during the day but I think they are new and scary now 

Hi rebbeca try to relax anxiaty comes with this rotton grief in the end my short term memory just was hopeless.and doing thinks i normaly took in my stride seemd so difficult you will probably be the same but it dose come back takes a while thoe if you think your forgetting and memories seem vague dont worry it all come back. If you cant find ticket leave it will turn up .this grief messes with our minds it pretty much scrambles it for a while i went to gp and was  given something to relax it was only short term but it helped so dont panic about ticket or anything yet just try and relax some nice music or a relaxing tape theres loads on utube 

I wish I'd seen this as I was up last night.. nights are the worst

Thankyou everyone for messaging! 

Today is a new day and it still doesn’t seem real! I keep on getting outbursts of when I just want to crumble into a million pieces. One minute I’m ok, and the next I’m just in pure shock and emotionless. I always think about my dad, he’s always on my mind. I just love him and miss him so so much.

Hi

I lost my mum last tuesday, I was her main carer for 15 years and am 36. I also have moments of been almost in denial, then having out bursts and crying all the time. Actually finding it hard to find reasons to carry on