Hi Daniel,

I am really sorry to hear about your mum and I know it is so hard when we lose those close to us. You will find people who have and are going through similar things on here and we are here to support you if we can. I have lost many family members half of which were to cancer and I love them so much and still miss them everyday. I was with my grandma at the end like you were with your mum and I know how awful it is when they are in pain and and begging for relief, all I did was held her hand and talked and sang to her until she left us. It was one of the hardest moments and ill never forget it.

I have a similar relationship with my grandma as you do with your mum and when they leave us it leaves us with a emptiness that cant be filled. When it comes to her not being there for big parts of your future, I have a belief that those we love, when they go they dont leave us completely, she is always with you, in your heart and in spirit if that is also your belief. I know you wont be able to see her but she will be there with you. I know all you wish for is to see your mum again, I would do anything to have more time with my family, to tell them I love them, hug them, and just be with them. Its understandable to feel this way though, I feel the same about grandparents but you will be ok. 

How I got through it is, I cried when I needed to, gathered my strength when I needed to and literally took it a day at a time, I dont really like that saying but its true thats what I did. I still miss my family every single day and I would still do anything to see them again. Lean on people that you can and feel comfortable with. Keeping busy is a good thing to if you can, and just keeping people around you that can support you. 

I hope you're ok, 

Bex 

Hi Daniel, 

I just want to say that I am so, so sorry for your loss. My dad is dying of liver cancer so I can understand some of what you've been through already. 

Losing a parent is hard at any age but at 18 you must be finding it even more difficult, especially as none of your friends have experienced it so you don't really have anyone to relate to.

I wish I had some more advice or words of comfort for you but all I can say right now is that you are not alone and you are not the only person feeling this way. Please talk to people about losing your mum, even if it's only on forums such as this one initially. Also, remember to look after yourself. I know it's easier said than done but it is so important. You deserve to feel well and happy so do whatever you need to to achieve that.

Hi Bex,

thanks for reading. Im sorry what you've been through and thank you for the advice. I think because it's so raw and recent that it still impacts. I do like this forum, it is filled with lots of people like yourself who I feel I can relate. I hope you take care now.

-Dan

Hi Ana,

Im sorry to hear about your Dad, I know its not a nice thing to go through, so I hope you are coping okay, as you can be.

I hope you have friends and family to surround you.

Thank you for reading my story and helping out.

-Dan

Hi DanielC

Your post really hit home for me as I just lost my mum in March this year. It all happened really quick from finding out just after chirstmas to how long she had to live, which sounds simlair to your mum. 

I totally feel the same as you about feeling so upset and angry that my mum will miss out on all my big life events! Both our mums should still be here with us enjoying them together! 

I think youre so great managing to complete your A Levels, I dont think I would have managed! Im currently trying to finish off my degree and I feel like giving up! Cannot concentrate at all.. But I know it would have made my mum proud if I do so I need to keep going! I'm pleased your mum got to see your results!

Ive felt so lonely since mum died, as none of my friends have lost a parent so I find it hard to chat about it! I sometimes think that people will never fully understand until it's happened to them. Sometimes I don't even understand how I'm feeling myself!

The only advice id give is to look after yourself, and keep trying to do things that make you feel good, even though sometimes I know it's hard!

Take care,

Anne x

I’m really sorry about your loss your at such a young age. My mum also died of cancer she never had a diagnosis nobody knew she was ill I was 25 at the time it’s the most awful feeling in the world. I too get jealous of others with there mothers I just have to think of the memory’s and think I was so greatful to have an amazing mum and although she’s not here I like to think she’s still there and around me. I also got a ashes to glass necklace so she’s always with me a year has gone on now since I lost my mum and it’s still hurts but I have adapted to it now and I’m always talking about her as a family my kids will always no who she was. Your right part of you goes with them and your life is never the same again but you find a new normal you and she would want you and your dad to remember the positives and do well in life