I’m feeling sad& down & confused. Dad sleeping all time.

So we’re 10 days on now after dads diagnosis of advanced metastic cancer in liver, base of spine and ribs. 

I have brought him home to mine for palliative care.

The last 10 days have pushed me emotionally, physically with caring day and night, disturbed every two hours. I don’t mind, if he needs me, then he needs me, mostly confusion or commode. So dad is just sleeping, sleeping and sleeping. When awake he remains confused and sometimes gets angry with me. Why is this please. I know it’s dreadful for him, I’m trying my best but it’s so upsetting seeing him so confused, frail and sleeping 

  • Do you have any other family members that may be able to help you look after your dad JulieRosie, even if it's just for a few hours so you can have some time to recuperate? If this isn't possible, have you thought about giving Marie Curie a call? They offer care and support to people with a terminal illness so it may be worth getting in touch with them to see what help they can provide you with at this time.

    The information we have on our website about dying with cancer may be able to answer some of your questions but do give our cancer nurses a call if you'd like to chat with them about your dad as well. Their number is 0808 800 4040 and are available Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    Quite a few of our members have cared for their loved ones at home so know how tough this can be and I'm sure some of them will be along when then can to share their advice and experiences as well.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi there Julie. .

    Really sorry your going through this heartbraking time... it's one of the hardest things we do ... and just like to say , like our lovely Steph has advised give Marie Currie a ring , they can offer care through the night and they will care for you too ... they are amazing ...

    Well your dad getting angry with you at times is so normal ... they are probly confused and angry at their situation ... it's no you he's angry with its the cancer ... my sister is in late stage dementure... her wonderful caring, wise nature has been replaced with telling us all to f off ... it's not her it's the dementure putting pressure on her brain ...

    So just hold his hand when he's calm .. and if he gets angry... just agree and tell him your there ... imagine cancer is standing right behind you and that's where his anger is directed ... l know just how hard it is ... but you have it day and night , l dont , so at least we get a brake ...

    Sending you a vertual hug. . Chrissie

  • Thankyou so much, i will read when i can, not getting much spare time at moment to answer, but i am reading all your replies xxxx thankyou 

  • Thankyou so much, i will read when i can, not getting much spare time at moment to answer, but i am reading all your replies xxxx thankyou