Morning Cocopops, You don't indicate how old you are or what suggestions have been made regarding your outlook. We were told by our consultant "If anyone tells you how long you've got - they're lying because we just don't know. Everyone responds differently" .
We all know we are going to die sometimes, but when facing the C rollercoaster it brings the thought a lot nearer to the surface for sufferers , family and friends. You say there is so much your want to say and ask. Well you're in the right place here . Start Practising on us - then maybe you can talk to the people/ medics in your life.
Hi cocopops = our bodies are always in the present moment - and our minds are in another place. If the mind could be where the body is = then our whole being will be in the present moment = and we would be at peace.
Welcome here = I would take a deep breath and spill it all out. You may find some peace that way. What cancer is it? What did you do before?
Hi Cocopops...........I have read your profile and although I know little about your type of cancer, I am the same age as you and in exactly the same situation prognisis-wise. You are right, it certainly is scary, and I dont know how you totally get your head around it but somehow we do. You say you have family and presumably they are aware of your diagnosis. Sometimes those closest to us are the most difficult to talk to because we dont really want to acknowledge that we may have to leave them long before we want to. The McMillan nurses attached to your local hospital are great at family counselling and that may be something you want to consider. If you are well enough to spare a few days to visit the Penny Brohn Centre in Bristol you will be astounded at how they help you to come to terms with things and converse with others.
Maybe just coming here and talking to others who in the same boat will help you - sometimes it just helps to write your feelings down. I try to think that I am living with cancer and forget the 'dying of cancer' bit. Myself, and others on the site, are always here to support you so please keep in touch and let us know how you are. Sending love x
cocopops---Sorry to repeat but you really should focus on living your life to the fullest you can,i have been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer and it something i cant control so i started doing things i havent done before like church bell ringing growing my own veg eating things i havent tried before for me it worked as i have now been living life to the full for 9 years ,try it love as there is no point worrying about it and talk to your family and friends they do help.
Hi Sukicat, I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and hope Cocopops doesnt mind me pinching this thread for a quick message to you. Your advice is good advice and should certainly be applied to anyone whether they have cancer or not.
However, having a terminal prognosis too I did just want to say that it is not always possible to live life to the full if you are feeling very unwell. Due to a brain tumour, I am unable to drive and get out and am also very ill and tired following treatments - the furthest place I manage to get to for about a week is the loo! As we know it takes some time to come to terms with a terminal prognosis and the feelings of utter despair last a while before we are able to feel accepting of our situation - how long this takes for each person depends on many factors, the biggest of all being how long we are expected to live, and others areour general health, the support we have etc. Sadly not all families can converse about everyday things, let alone when cancer is thrown into the equation.
I feel desperately sorry for cocopops and understand completely how difficult it is to pull yourself back up after being given such devastating news. I am pleased that you have managed to do that and are in a 'good place' but we must be careful not to make others feel inadequate that they are unable to feel that 'there is no point in worrying about it' (your words) or have no idea how to even begin to discuss their feelings with their loved ones.
Hi cocopops, it's easy for the rest of us to tell you all the usual stuff...but we're all different and how you feel will probably be poles apart from how I reacted when I was told I had Multiple Myloma 2 years ago. I'm 62 now and have had a lot of treatment, but there is no cure for Myloma so I have had to come to terms with the idea that I might not even reach pension age...and I'm ok with that oddly enough and the thing that changed me into the easy going accepting man that I am today was a 33 girl sat in the opposite chair to me while we were both having treatment, she had 2 young children, the youngest was 4. Her biggest fear was that the children would be taken from her husband and put into care after she died. So if I start feeling sorry for myself I think of her...my problems are nothing compared to that girl nearly half my age. Good luck.
max56....Good points you make and i thank you for that,my diagnosis is terminal and i agree we all deal with it differently and sorry if i made anyone feel inadequate that wasnt my intention just trying to say there is life with cancer,yes the treatment knocked me for 6 but as i was feeling better after treatment then i started to say to myself that i needed to get on with life,i know it is hard to discuss with loved ones as you dont want to upset them but they are there for you.
Thank you for your reply and your wise words. You are so right my mind is all over the place it is so much to take in. I have mucosl melanoma which apparently is a very rare and aggressive type of cancer. It is attacking the soft tissues inside my body and is currently in my face particularly the nasal area. I have had surgery and radiotherapy and all they can offer me now is pallative care. My surgeon explained, after the surgery, that the inside of my face was like a garden lawn full of weeds, and although he had removed the weeds they will continmue to grow and not necessarily in the same place. I am being chekced every 4 weeks a nd the level of care I am receiving is excellent. I just dont know what to do with the thoughts in my head.
I am 59 and have two grown up sons and have a beautiful beautiful 4 month old grandaughter who I cherish every moment with.
I am usually a very strong minded person and have spent almost my entire working life as a social worker encoouraging young people to be strong and overcome very tramatic experiences in their life, yet I dont seem to be able to apply that same ethos to myself.
I have such a close family and a small group of truly wonderful friends yet I have never felt so alone. I sometimes feel guiilty for feeling sorry for myself and although I'm determined to fight this with every part of my being I just can't seem to accept what is happening to me.
It feels, at times, that the mental anquish is stornger and more painful than the illness itself it that make sense.
I'm angry and sad and fearful all at the same time.
I do appreciate you listening to me though and for that I thank you.
