It was the 28th of November 2021 when my mum called me to say she had fell over and was on the floor for hours. She was independent up until then, going shopping getting her hair down and she had just started going out more and coming around to my house again daily.
She did struggle, she had a stroke at 37 but hadn't let it impair her life in so many respects. She had a limp, but she done everything she could even to help me and my son, she was amazing. She was 68, and over the lock down she had been really careful. It killed us to be apart as we spent almost everyday together normally but, but we wanted her to be safe and we were all scared at the time of Covid. Slowly my mum's health was deteriorating and I could see it in video calls.
Since summer 2021 she decided to live her life and just go out more and be with us in my home again like normal. It was great to be back to normal. When she called on the 28th of November she came around to stay at mine for a few days to recover from her fall. It became clear she was weak and needed help to walk, so I was helping her all I could with everything thinking she would be feeling better soon. I noticed her eye wandering and called the hospital at home team out in case it was a stroke. On the 4th of December they took her into hospital to check her over. I thought she would probably get a drip and be home with us again soon. We were only allowed 1 visitor a day due to covid restrictions so my brother and I took turns, but she was calling me saying she wasn't getting drink or food and I was really worried. On the 6th of December the Drs spoke about unknown malignancy, and called us in to spend some time with her overnight. She had badly bruised arms where blood had been taken, she looked exhausted. They told us they wouldn't try to revive her if she died. On the 7th of December at 10.10am she died. It was horrendous. Apart from the unknown malignancy (they say they don't know where the cancer was) she had also contracted sepsis. It all happened so quickly and I feel so guilty about allowing her to be admitted to hospital. I know she wasn't well, but I feel she wasn't treated well. I just wish I had kept her with me.
I loved her so much, she was my best friend and I feel like I let her down. Near the end she couldn't even open her eyes, she was trying to speak to me and it hurts so much she went from speaking on admission to such a bad condition in a couple of days. I struggle everyday, I just want so much to see her again. After she and my dad split up we did everything together from holidays to day trips, and there is a hole I can't fill. I just wish I had kept her with me, I regret so much calling the hospital. Nearly 6 months later and it's just getting harder.
