My mum fought a very short battle with cancer she was misdiagnosed. So it didn’t get found until it was too late. She went into hospital and by the time they found out what it was (kidney cancer stage 4) she had a week and a half left and she was gone. It had spread every where.
We had a fiery relationship as she had her issues I moved out when I was 18. I’m 32 now I got married 2 weeks after she died. She made me promise that the wedding would go ahead. I think for the 1st month from diagnosis to my wedding I was bouncing around in a bubble. Holding everything together for my mum, dad and my children.
I cant seem to get through a day at the moment where I don’t cry or think about everything that has happened. It all still feels so surreal. It’s been 3 months now and I have started sorting out some of her things and it’s just so hard. I feel so guilty about our relationship, things we have both said to each other, going through her stuff. You just never expect this to happen. I can’t imagine my life without her. I can’t imagine my children growing up without her here. My son has a picture in his bedroom which he keeps by his bed. He turns it around when he goes to sleep because it makes him feel sad. I just feel so very lost at the moment. I don’t really talk to anybody about it. Because I find it difficult explain. I just thought I would try and write in this forum to see if it would help in some way. If you have got to the bottom of this thank you for taking the time to read. Take care x
