Hello D1, 

I noticed that you hadn't had a response yet so wanted to pop by and offer our condolences on the loss of your Dad earlier this year. 

It sounds like it has been a rollercoaster of year for you with Dad's illness and your pregnancy and it'snot surprising that you are struggling to process everything. 

We have some information on our website about coping with grief. It talks about the grieving process and includes some links to counselling organisations that you can access. You could also have a chat to your GP and see if you are able to access counselling through your surgery or through another local bereavement support charity. 

It is still very much early days D1. Be gentle with yourself in this process. Feel free to post here anytime you need to. 

Thinking of you,
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

hi D1

i lost my mum in January and can totally relate to all the things you are feeling x

" the thought that he couldnt see my child, that he is no longer going to be around, that i wont hear his voice again, that maybe i didnt do enough for him, didnt fight hard enough for him"

xx

Hi D1,i am very sorry to hear your dad has passed,i too have lost a loved one my son who was 19 he died 17/03/2017 and my heart is broken in two,i myself have questioned could i of done this or should i have done that so many thoughts in my head,but it all boils down to is that we are not the proffessionals we do not have the authority to make things happen as we would like.My son was also a healthy boy but was admitted into hospital and just over 6 weeks he had died,my story is a little different to yours as all i can say is an inquest and investigation is being carried out,but please dont blame yourself,it is very easy to do as i have done.Your dad will get to see your unborn child and will be with you always,im a firm believer in this,im not religious at all but i do believe they watch over us and i find comfort in that my son is close by.You will have days where you dont see the point but your unborn child needs his mum to be strong and tell them how wonderful his/her grandad was,you will never get over it but i do hope that once baby is here you will be able to continue your life as your dad would of wanted you too x 

Can i ask what inquest? x

Hi I also lost my dad to cancer in January - I'm 32 and I have my younger sister and my mom. I also think I wish I could have made my dad be a grandad or had the chance walk me down the aisle but now he won't. My sister is in her early 20s and lives with my mom, but my sister works and she's out a lot. I live alone and I work and I go out too but not as much as my sister. I feel like I need to be there for my mom all the time, to keep her company, so my weekends are spent with her, but the guilty side of me wishes I could be out so I can move on and block out the pain and the reality of what's happened and what we're still going through. I always knew my mom would be worse hit as she spent her life with him, and my sister and I are young and have our lives ahead of us and things to keep us busy. My dad had cancer for just under a year and I also saw him die, but I'm glad he wasn't alone. It's a horrible memory that you won't ever forget but at least I/you was with our dad during those moments. It would've been worse if he was alone. Your dad would want you to be strong for your baby and your mom will be able to keep busy by being there for you and your baby. X