I lost mum 8 days ago

Hello all,

my mum sadly passed away 8 days ago. She passed at exactly midnight on the 8th of May in a hospice. The hospice were amazing to us and my poor mum - cannot dault then at all. 

I don’t know how I’m feeling right now. I’ve been feeling very numb. I only really cried when mum passed, I was beside her when she left this world and I was in total shock. I knew the end was near, but it all seemed to of happened so fast. 

My mum’s funeral will be next Friday and I still cannot decide if I should go and visit mum in the chapel of rest. I went to see a close friend after he passed once and I regretted it ever since, so it’s made me worried if I see mum that it’ll make things worse. But I feel like I should see her, as even though I was beside her when she passed away, I didn’t actually get to say goodbye to her

i suffer quite badly with depression, anxiety and PTSD, and I am worried if I visit her and the experience isn’t as good as I would hope, that it’ll make me worse mentally  .

since mum passed, I have been having awfully traumatic dreams about her, and about when she passed.

can anyone guide me? 

  • Hi there so sorry you lost your mum ... it's one of the hardest things we go through in life .. l remember well the numb feeling .. like your in a bad dream, and your waiting for someone to tell you it didn't happen, you were just dreaming ... but deep down that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach tells you you were right ...

    Now my mum had something she wanted put in her coffin so me and my sis went together ... it wasn't my mum there, my mum was warm and loving and full of life ... that was just her shell ... it was o.k and I was proud we did her last wish ... but it's hard to get that out of my head ... when my dad passed a couple of years later, l didn't go ... I wanted to remember him, as the B F G  that loved our kids and always doing little magic tricks and making up little stories at bedtime ... I'm glad l didn't go .. and l know l did the right thing ... 

    If and when l go... l hope my lads don't go and see me in the chapple of rest ... l don't want them to see that ... so all l can say is, listen to your heart ... and trust it knows what to do ... your mum's not there, she's right there in your heart ... you carry her with you .. you are a part of her ... so be at piece whatever you decide to do ...  sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie

  • Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. My mum died suddenly from cancer 10 weeks ago. She died at home so I got to spend a few hours with her before the doctor and undertakers could come. I don’t know if I’d recommend you seeing her or not. It is very upsetting seeing someone you love passed away as after a few hours their skin colour changes. But then again it was almost peaceful getting to spend time with her and saying things I didn’t get to say when she was alive. There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this. I think you just go with your instinct.

    sending hugs

    xxx