Hi jannet 

So sorry your going through this. It's such a difficult time for you and your probably feeling all kinds of different emotions.

Try and just take a deep breath every time you feel your emotions are consuming you and remember it's OK to grieve. Don't worry about the next day and if you can just do one positive thing in a day like have a shower or ring a friend then these things will gradually increase and you'll feel a little more able to cope . 

I'm currently nursing my mother with stage 4 ovarian cancer. It's very difficult to see her in pain and suffer but I try and take comfort knowing that when she does fall asleep in death she'll be resting and no longer in pain.  . I've not lost a partner but  I've lost close friends and nursed them whilst suffering and it's so difficult . Keep talking to friends or your gp . Sending a huge hug and you are in my thoughts at this difficult time 

 xxx

hi Janet 

im so sorry for your loss. I also have just lost my husband on Oct 22nd. He also got diagnosed in April. It’s been a complete shock how quick it has taken over. Thou I’ve not found any ways to help the with grieving apart from obsessive cleaning when our daughter is in bed. Please know I’m here if you need to chat. I know for me the night times and early mornings are the worse. I try and fill my time doing jobs or taking out 1 year old out for fun days. 

Please keep your freinds close and take up all the offers for cups of teas and chats as I find it helps xxx

Hi I've just lost my partner on the 15th of this month.I can't stop crying at a drop of a hat and really struggling to get through each day...on Monday I have to see the funneral people to sort out the costs..my parner died at home of srage 4 lung cancer.  I'm in Scotland and all my family are in Northamptonshire. My benefits are now stopped and on top of the pain I feel and sadness I have to cope with sorting my universal credit out and I'm scared because I can't afford to run the home let alone afford some up front cost the funneral people want..

Hi,

Tandy,

So sorry to read about your situation and the recent loss of your husband. This came up in a different thread a few weeks ago and someone said that the Coop were very helpful and might not require an upfront cost. Here's a link to their website - I hope this is of help. www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk/.../

Best wishes

Dave 

Hi Janet,

i am so sorry for your loss and I know just how you are feeling  I too lost my wonderful husband on the 6th October, 6 weeks yesterday. He was diagnosed in April, It is awful. I have previously lost my lovely parents, Mum 7 years ago, and Dad 19 years ago, but this is different again, I think because my wonderful John was with me when they died, so I had his support. This time I feel very alone. We were together 43 years, and I have never lived alone, and have no children, so now I am very lonely and lost. I cry a lot, but not quite as much as I did at the beginning, but the shock and the grief is still very raw. For myself, I know I need help. I am going over to the hospice that looked after my John, to start counselling. Like you, I don't know how I am going to get through this, but like you, I don't have a choice. The one piece of advice I can give you, is try not to look and think too far ahead. My motto is 'One day at a  time'. Or even 10 minutes at a time on a bad day. If you keep reading the posts on here, you will find there are a lot of people in the same situation, and all at different stages and time scales. They did it, or are doing it, and so can I. And so can you but it's not going to be easy. 

Take care, and I send you all my love,

love Heather. X

I know it is not everyone's cup of tea but I have been hearing about "No funeral" cremations.  The idea is that the funeral directors arrange the cremation separately and you can have your own little gathering wherever you want - in a pub or at your home - to mourn the loved one who has died.  Very very much cheaper than a funeral and started because people started rebelling against high funeral costs.  Just thought I would mention it, Tandytandy2.  Annie