I feel like I can’t talk to anybody about my mums death

My mum died of stomach cancer over 3 years ago, when I was 15 and my sister was 13. She was my rock and my best friend and the glue to my family.  My sister is suicidal , my dad has a new girlfriend (who is actually wonderful) and everything is changing so fast I have no idea what to do, everything feels so hard. 
I get so sad but it hurts the people I love to talk about it, sometimes I just need someone to listen , but now my fears have come true and I upset people too much for them to know what to say or to just listen. I hate hurting people I feel like such a burden on my boyfriend and my friends. 
I miss her , I miss my gorgeous mum and I don't know what to do. 
holly 

  • Holly I'm so sorry for everything you've gone and going through. I don't know what to say for best. Maybe find groups like this to talk to people who have experienced the same. You will never be a burden to real friends. Ive only just started this journey with my Dad so I'm totally lost at the moment, he came out of hospital today and it's worrying how poorly he's got over a week. I hope you find someone to lean on love xxxx

  • It's very scary watching someone you love become iller and iller, and despite what I said things get easier in weird ways. I am sending all my love. Thank you for your kind words. 
    being lost with how to feel is sometimes okay, let every emotion flow into you like waves don't feel that you can't feel upset or down or angry or stressed, there is no normal when things like this happen to those we love xxxx

  • Sorry to hear your sad news and that your really struggling.

    Look online for CRUSE Counselling they specialise in bereavement and will be able to help you or just listen.

    Wishing you all the best.

    Louise xx

  • Hi Holly,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm very sorry to hear of what has happened with your mum and I can only imagine how incredibly tough this must be for you and your family.

    Firstly, this forum is always a safe space to write down how you feel or to get things off your chest. It's a very welcoming and understanding community of people and there will be others here who have been through something similar. Hopefully you also have others around you who you can speak to from time to time, but either way as I say we are always here for you too.

    I can see you've already had some helpful replies and good advice from others on the forum which is great.

    It may help for you to reach out to an organisation who can provide support and that can be an outlet to you. For you and your sister, the organisations Child Bereavement UK and also Hope Again can offer valuable support so do reach out to them if you feel like you're struggling.

    If you ever feel really concerned about your sister (or yourself), do also call Samaritans - they're there 24/7 and you can reach them on freephone 116 123.

    Take care of yourself and as I say we're always here for support.

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator