I'm heart broken. Dad has stomach cancer and peritoneal Mets. These last 2 months have been so difficult watching him deteriorate and suffer with nausea, trapped wind and ascites. He had 8litres drained from his abdomen 3 weeks ago and it has built up again. Drain going back in this Friday. I am so scared. I know his body is shutting down. He is so weak and tired. I feel bad for thinking that I dont want him suffering anymore and to die peacefully in his sleep. But then my next thought is I don't want him to go yet. I love him so much and I don't know how I'm going to cope without him being here but I am finding it so hard watching him suffer. We don't know how long he has left. 2 months ago we thought he only had a matter of weeks but he has surprised us all. I am scared of not knowing when it's going to happen and what's going to happen and how I'm going to stay strong throughout for my mum. I just feel so helpless and like I'm just floating, waiting for him to die. It's the worst feeling I have ever experienced. All I want to do is sleep because then it's not happening, the minute I wake up it hits me. It's all I think about every waking minute. I wish I could make it all go away and make him well again.