My dad was diagnosed with cancer on 26th May 2018.

it came completely unexpected and stemmed from an ongoing pain he was suffering with in his groin.

he had seeked medical attention for the pain months prior to his diagnosis 

but all medical professionals came back with the wrong initial diagnosis, they said his pain was due to a groin injury initially, then a hernia, then a stent he had previously fitted was apparently piercing the hernia causing the pain.

on the 25th May my dad was taken to a and e due to the severity of his pain, sent for number X-rays and blood tests all results coming back with “hernia” the last medical professional to see my dad suggested a CT scan.

he had the scan and we received the results the following day. 

My dad had cancer in his pubic rami (pelvis) and it had eaten away at his pelvis causing it to fracture. 

They informed us that this was not the primary cancer but the secondary cancer and that’s a full body CT scan would need to be done to determine the primary cancer. 

That day the CT scan was done and the results came back. His primary cancer was in his lung, it then spread to his adrenal gland, his liver and then his pelvis. 

As a family to be told this completely out of the blue and totally unexpected was a shock to the system and our worlds turned upside down to say the least.

at the point of diagnosis we where told that yes cancer is a life shortenen disease but that this cancer was NOT a death sentence. 

My dad stayed in hospital for 4 days so that they could figure out pain relief medication for him to go home with and to do further tests to determine what type of lung cancer he had.

he was put on morphine .... bottles of the stuff. 

The severity of his pain meant he could not walk. 

A week later the results of his primary lung cancer came back and the hospital told us he had “non small cell lung cancer” now not at this point or any point before this where me and my family told of what stage My dads cancer was at we where not told if it was terminal or if it was incurable.

He was told that 3 weeks following the diagnosis of what type of lung cancer he had he would go through an intense 5 day course of radiotherapy to target the cancer he had on his pelvis in order to reduce the tumour to give his bone the opportunity to “heal” so that he could walk again and build his strength back. 

Once this intense course was completed he would go back to the hospital 6 weeks following the radiotherapy to receive his results.

 Following his results it would then be decided if he was strong enough for chemotherapy and a drug called  bisphosphonates to determine if he could had this drug they had to do blood tests to determine the amount of calcium he had in his blood in order to see if he was eligible for the “bone strengthening” medication to prevent further fractions due to the weakness of his body. 

During the process of my dad travelling to and from radiotherapy he and my mum were not offered additional support or help in transporting my dad to and from hospital. He was an extremely frail and weak man in severe pelvic pain. Between myself and my mum we had to carry him from the house to the car and struggle to get him into the car as it was so uncomfortable and painful for him to get in the car never mind the actual journey.... same process on the way back.

The 6 week wait for the CT scan to see what the radiotherapy had done, was hell.

My dad deteriorated more and more every day, the pain he was in from the cancer and then from the radiotherapy was absolutely unbearable for us to see him in never mind him having to experience it.

4 weeks following the radiotherapy my dad got very weak, and in more pain in places in his body that he didn’t have before.

I remember on Sunday 12th August 2018 my dad was in so much pain struggling to breathe and every breathe he took you could hear a cracking noise.

We called an ambulance he was taken to a and e and given and X-ray we where convinced that his ribs where fractured due to what we never wanted to happen, expect to happen but thought that the cancer had spread and caused his ribs to fracture.

We received the results from the X-ray... no fracture. The absolute relief of my dads  face the tears he cried staring in my eyes with hope because he truly believed he was beating this disease and it wasn’t spreading.

He left the hospital in so much pain everywhere he had to hold a large pillow just to be able to breathe when in his wheelchair so help his pain as much as possible.

The day had came on Tuesday the 14th August for him to go to the hospital to get the CT scan we had all been waiting for to see what “positive” effect the radiotherapy had. I will never forget the journey to be hospital that day. My dad was in so much pain you could see it I felt like I could feel it myself just by looking at him.

So tiny and frail sitting in the wheelchair with his large pillow for comfort so frightened and anxious about having to get out the wheelchair and lay flat on a rock hard table for this CT scan, lying flat was something he couldn’t do for a long time because of the pain. 

The CT scan done and as imagined cause struggle and extreme pain. 

We had to wait until Thursday 16th August for the results.

Everyone anxious and waiting for this day to come to here the good news about he treatment he had. 

Thursday 16th August came, my dad a completely different man couldn’t speak or couldn’t even breathe we thought this day we would lose him he never made it to the appointment to find out about the results but made it to the hospital via ambulance. 

Put on a ward and treated for a chest infection.

Me and my mum on the other hand where told the results, a day we looked forward to turned into the day from hell. 

My dads cancer had spread, to his whole pelvis causing the whole pelvis to “crumble”, to his kidneys, to his sternum, to his lower and upper spine, to his ribs. Which yes they where fractured 6 of them. 

The day we had waited to hear good news we where told that my dad would be put on end of life care. 

He stayed in hospital for 4 days until Monday 20th August when we got him home where we knew he would want to be.

My dad had no idea about his cancer spreading or that he was on end of life care, he couldn’t even string a sentence together or understand what day or time it was so me and my mum took it upon ourselves to not put added unnecessary stress on him.

My dad came home and was in a hospital bed in the living room, this bed replaced the double bed we had already put downstairs for him as he couldn’t climb the stairs. 

7 days later he passed away.

Within a 12 week period I watched my happy, fun loving, caring and amazing dad deteriorate and go through pain that you wouldn’t even see a dog go through.

Throughout this whole time me and my mum where not supported by anyone we where told so much false misleading information.

Information that gave us hope.

Information that made us believe that the hell we where living in wouldn’t be forever.

And I cannot express the sadness and anger that lives inside me right now because of what I had to watch my dad go through.

He kept his pride and dignity throughout and you didn’t hear him moan once. 

He dealt with It like you wouldn’t believe.

I have so many bad images in my mind holding his tiny frail body trying not to hurt him where all his fracture were trying to get him out of bed into his wheelchair and just simple everyday things that he was doing 12 weeks before.

I’m posting this because I feel isolated I feel like this is the end of the world I feel like this sort of thing doesn’t happen.

It been nearly 12 weeks since he left us i spent my first birthday without him after he passed turning 25.

Never did I think at this age I would be without my dad.

He really was my best friend and there wasn’t a day that went past that I didn’t see him.

Sorry for the long post I still feel no one will understand my pain as I can’t put every fine detail into this post.