Together we will beat cancer

Donate

I am struggling to cope losing my husband to liver cancer

7 Feb 2018 16:01

My husband has been ill with cancer for about 2 years now and treatments are not working. I cannot stop crying, day and night as we don't know how long he has left. He is only 55 ( I am 46) and have had only 10 years together. This is happening too soon. Only 1 chemo treatment still left which have not been tried but as far as I understand he cannot be cured , this would only prolong the time left (if we are lucky). I feel that we both are already given up and I am strugling to keep 'living' and not think of him dying.. I want to make the best of our time left ,but currently living with benefits is not making it easier as we need to even budget of weekly food. How can i take my mind away from the grim future? I am already receiving councelling via McMillan but it doesn't stop me crying day and night. I wish my husband would not have to see me doing this and i want to be there for him as 'normal' as possible.. any tips?

Re: I am struggling to cope losing my husband to liver cancer

7 Feb 2018 18:08 in response to Nenaru

Hi there ... my heart goes out to you ... there's no easy way through ... all l would say as l have said to so many on here ... is I lost my mum suddenly, l talked to her one Monday morning ... at 5.20 she was gone ... l never got a chance to say all those things that were now stuck in my heart ... or hold her hand ... or see her smile ... as hard as this journey is for you ... you have that chance ... to walk this journey to gether ... and having a few tears together and saying your both scared is no bad thing... and better then hurting alone ... 

Try not to picture the future ... it's about living in the day and taking things as and when they crop up .. otherwise you loose the "now" it hurts so much coz we are blessed with wonderfull people and it hurts all the more to loose them ... I'm glad McMillan are getting you counselling ... May be even if  just one thing helps it may be the one thing that will get you through another day ...

Sending you a big caring hug Chrissie xx

Re: I am struggling to cope losing my husband to liver cancer

7 Feb 2018 19:42 in response to Chriss

Thank you Chrissie for your kind words and help, all this is helpful and you are right, more we can live in 'now' rather than in the future, better for all of us. Sorry to hear about your loss too, there is no easy way to deal with these things, ever. Big hug to you and thank you x