Hi Zoe, 

Really sorry you're going through this. I know how much agony and anxiety the waiting period can bring and your mind works overtime thinking of every possible scenario. It is most definitely easier said than done but try your best to keep a positive mindset and maybe keep yourself busy with something you enjoy to keep your mind off things. Hoping and Praying all goes well with your husband, please do keep us posted xx 

Thank you for replying,

I just feel so alone. At home with 6 children. Suffering with horrific anxiety and depression. Constantly worried. I have no support from anyone. 

Things got tough before he got ill. He has never really appreciated me or the children. Even now we seem to be the last thing on his mind. He pushes me away.

I feel so angry at the world. This year I lost my dad to covid and my sister spent 4 months in a coma. I literally feel like I can't take anymore. 

I can't sleep, I cant eat, the kids are getting the minimum amount of looking after I can get away with. He is only 36. He looks so frail, yellow, bruised. 4 weeks ago he was fighting fit. I am so scared. The biggest worry is if the worst did happen I don't think I would be far behind him and our kids would have no one. Literally making myself ill with the stress. Just want to know so we can plan what needs to happen.

Hello ZoeA81

I could read your post and not reply to try and give you some suggestions about where you can get some help and support. Clearly, this is a very difficult time for you and it's understandable that you're feeling so very worried about things. 

In relation to your husband, I'd suggest getting in touch with the hospital PALS department. It is their role to offer confidential advice, support and information on health-related matters. They provide a point of contact for patients, their families and their carers. 

On a personal note, please do get in touch with your GP. You have been through so much this past year with your family already and now to be dealing with a probably cancer diagnosis for your husband, it's understandable that you're struggling. Your GP should be the first line of getting you some support. 

I'd also suggest giving our team of nurses a call on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I'm sure they will be happy to talk things through with you and offer any advice and support that they can. You could also contact your local Maggie's centre. they're able to offer support to anyone impacted by a cancer diagnosis. 

I hope that you have some answers soon and that you can reach out to get yourself some support as well. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator