I am really sorry to hear this. How old is your husband and children? My husband got localised advanced prostate cancer diagnosis earlier this week. I am desperately looking for answers online to see how I can get him to live longer. We have a 6 year old who has autism. Life was already a struggle and now this. I just don't know what to do..my husband's treatment has started and he is tired and sleeping most of the time. We had plans to do so many things together.

Husband is 53, children are 15 and 10.  We like you had so many plans.  I have tried over the last few months to be positive and stay strong but it's all getting a little too much. Just before hubby was diagnosed I landed my dream job, today I am sat here crying because I don't want to go to work. Done get me wrong they have been incredibly supportive and I am working reduced hours but I hold a senior position and it's a tough job anyway.  If I could I would leave tonight x

Hi there,

My heart goes out to you and your family. 

My father has been diagnosed with a thalamaic glioblastoma. Stage 4, we have learnt it is inoperable and with his decline being rapid we have decided not to go ahead with a biopsy as he is unaware on his condition due to the part of the brain. 

I have requested a DS1500 form, I'm not sure if you are aware of this or if maybe this may not apply? But you are entitled to alot of financial help? I know it doesn't help the situation, however it has added a little relief for my Mum to have 1 less thing to worry about to spend as much time with my Dad as she can.

Hi thanks for this yes we have the PIP payments coming in thanks, to be honest we are financially ok, it's just the what happens after question which stops me handing in my notice, as I will need a job then .  

It may not be ideal? But if you are in a position to speak with them, as technically you could go on sick and they would have to keep your position open, Or you could take statutory sick pay and ask if when the time comes and you are able to return to work that they can find you a position? You are entitled to a carers element, standard allowance and limited capability whilst working but not carers allowance.

My mother is entitled to 11 weeks full sick pay in her position, so we are going to claim that. Then advise them under the circumstances she cannot give a date on returning to work, so then move to carers allowance so they know shes not just going to take the mick and stay on sick for a long time which would cause them hassle as they cannot employ someone to replace her. But this way they can temporarily, I suppose it depends on your main role and duties and if they can find someone to cover the duties for a time period. 

I feel it's not much help to you, but what I have learnt from my experience with this with my father, try everything you possible can to spend as much time with him as you can there will be other jobs, but you will never get this time back. Try McMillan they have been brilliant with advising the best for my mother, they may have a trick up there sleeve for the position your in. X 

HMS:

Here is it... I too  started to work reduced hours when my husband was first diagnosed, I too hold a senior position and a very demanding job and responsibilities.  One day I walked through the door, told my boss "I gotta go, it's not like I can concentrate on work right now anyway" when all was said and done, I just starred out the window anyway.

He passed away less than a month after that day and I didn't return to work for nearly eight more months as my home responsibilities and priorities far outweighed what I once thought was important - work!

Now here I am almost two years later, and I still have my career and honestly it means nothing to me anymore.  I simply go through the motions as afterall - a girl's gotta pay her rent.

You are about to embark on the biggest struggle of your life. But the god's honest truth... work will still be there whether it is in your current organization or another.  Your days together are numbered and unfortunately that is a harsh reality.

I don't mean to be bold... but I dont want you to wake up saying I coulda, woulda, shoulda...  I didn't realize until after I returned to work - how insignificant my career was in the big scheme of things. 

best of luck to you