Together we will beat cancer

Donate

Husband just diagnosed with terminal liver cancer

20 Jan 2019 14:49

My husband was told last Tuesday that it was likely he had liver cancer. On Friday we were told it was terminal and had spread and he had a couple of months left. Although he has not been well this has hit very hard. I feel helpless and not sure of how to cope. He sleeps most of the time and eats nothing. When awake he is fully aware and it is just so tragic. He is 59 and I am his sole carer.

He will go into a hospice but I dont know how we know when that time is ready. I'm scared.

We have accepted this in the short time we have had and talk about it. He is strong, I am the weaker one and cry sometimes constantly although not in front of him as it would upset him. 

I dont know if it is the speed of diagnosis that has affected me so much or the fact we only have a few months left. I feel I am over doing the caring as he wants to sleep and I am asking if he wants pain relief/drinks/change of clothes etc 

How does anyone manage ? I know nothing will change the outcome and he is dying soon but if anyone has gone through this please leave any advice.

Husband just diagnosed with terminal liver cancer

20 Jan 2019 15:08 in response to Jan456

Hi — I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer in late November and I can totally relate to what you’re going through, except my Dad didn’t really talk about what was happening all that much. I have no advice to give you other than to make the most of every second and if you can, make some happy memories. Also: you are stronger thank you think and it’s totally OK to cry; it just means we care xx

Husband just diagnosed with terminal liver cancer

20 Jan 2019 15:26 in response to Jan456

I am so sorry to read your post, are there any local groups you could join with people in the same position as you? Have you been in touch with the Macmillan nurses? Have you identified the hospice he will eventually go in? 

I wish I could offer you some wise words of wisdom, all I can say is this forum may well offer you some comfort. There are many people here who will totally understand what you're going through, it's sometimes a relief to share experiences and know your not the only one living what must feel like a nightmare.....

xxxx

Husband just diagnosed with terminal liver cancer

21 Jan 2019 00:59 in response to Marlyn

I absolutely understand you. My OH was given the diagnosis of stage 4 liver cancer a few days ago. Apparently it’s secondary. No idea where the primary is. 

Now have to tell the kids and have no idea what to expect. 

Husband just diagnosed with terminal liver cancer

21 Jan 2019 04:40 in response to hcindy

Thank you for your replies. They and this forum have helped me. I have the name of a hospice and tel no that the hospital gave me but all this was discussed with my husband when I wasn't there so I dont know when they will be in touch. I will telephone them - my husband says they will set up a meeting and now the weekend is over I hope this  progresses. I feel robbed because he needs to sleep so much which uses up our time together but even lying next to him holding his hand and telling him I love him is a comfort.

hcindy, my heart goes out to you, we have no children so that was one hurdle I didn't have and there is no easy way. I know that I appreciated honesty in all this and will be grateful for the doctors that told us calmly and clearly the cancer diagnosis. My husband told me himself of  the prognosis of a few months and it must have been the hardest thing he'd ever done. I will be thinking of you x   

Husband just diagnosed with terminal liver cancer

14 Sep 2019 04:03 in response to Jan456

Hi my partner was diagnosed with lung cancer in May we've now only been together 12 months on 5th Sept I thought he is my happy ever after but now been told he has liver cancer both terminal ..... he's in hospital at moment as went in yesterday with high blood sugar and fatigued and no appetite.   We spoke to a Macmillan nurse who told us that the liver cancer is aggressive I so understand how you must be feeling I feel my whole world is slipping away from me and I'm losing my grip .... I'm trying to stay strong as you in front of him but falling apart when on own .... I really don't want to lose my help and let go 

I'm lying in bed watching the clock widhingit away soni can go back to hospital to find out what's happening