Welcome to the forum Tweet although I'm sorry to be greeting you under these rather sad circumstances.

It can be scary not knowing what the future may hold but if you can try not to think too far ahead but instead take each day at a time and enjoy the time you have together.

I noticed you said you are caring for your husband and feeling tired. Is there anyone, maybe friends or family that could help you - even just for a few hours - so you can get some rest? There is an organisation called carers uk that you may find useful at this time and I've included a link to their website just here in case you'd like to find out more. 

We also have many members on the forum that are carers for their other halves who will understand your thoughts and hopefully some of them will reply soon to offer their support and advice and share their experiences with you.

Do keep chatting to us here on the forum Tweet and remember that we are always here when you need us.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi

So sorry to read your post . I cared for my husband at home until he passed away 4 weeks ago so can understand how you are feeling. I used to lie next to him listening to his breathing and worrying. We had fantastic care and support from the Community Nursing team which was arranged through our GP. If you don't already have this set up I would highly recommend it as we would never have managed without them. My husband wanted to stay at home , no hospital or hospice for him, and with their help he did just that. It was hard , exhausting for me, but it was what he wanted and I wanted to do that for him. You will feel as if you can't get through another day because you are so tired but you will do it for him. Sometimes we can amaze ourselves by finding strength that we didn't know we had. 

Coping in an empty house ? Now that is another matter entirely, I am not managing that one very well at all, I now have all the time I missed when I was so busy looking after my husband but trying to fill that time is another thing . My life has lost its purpose and I am struggling.

Thinking of you both

Chris. X

Hiya I’m so sorry to be reading this, 8 weeks ago my fiancé passed away from stage 4 testicular cancer that had spread like wild fire it ended up in his brain and died from sepsis, he was only battling for a year at the age of 24, I only had two and half short sweet years with him our whole lives planed our and snatched away from us by the horrible disease! When he passed it broke me in half so I can’t even begin to feel your pain. People told me that he is no longer in pain and he’s in a better place but how does that console you? Yeah they are in a better place but I’d rather have him here at home where he belongs! 

Your life will never be the same and everyone grieves in there own way, just take it day by day hour by hour, if you feel like not getting of bed that day don’t of you feel like making yourself look pretty and put on some nice clothes do it and always remember that your husband is by your side every step of the way, I always think that when there is a robin near or a white feather lands near you that is your loved one letting you no they are okay and are with you 

My husband was diagonosed with terminal cancer in August, 2017. We were just back from honeymoon and had no idea he was ill. Like you I looked after him , gave him meds, made him laugh..I ask why us? but reading the posts of others makes me realize im not alone 

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this.  Take pride in the fact that you are both handling and survivng life and God's biggest challenge - the threat of the loss of a loved one.

In 2002, I lost my wife of 9 years to endometrial cancer.  It was stage 4c when they found it and she survived 2 years and 9 months after diagnosis.

When Janet was diagnosed, our whole lives were turned upside down.  I seriously wondered if there would ever be any joy or happiness both duriing her fight and after her death.  It is a more than diffucult thing to go through as you can attest, but I am happy to say that there is happiness and joy on the other end of the grieving process.  I stayed in our house, but over time, the memories of her in it have turned into a comforting feeling of her presence in the house.

Your husband's strength will sustain you both.  I am praying for both of you and your families.  It takes each of us some time to go through the grieving process and that time varies.   When you get through that process, you WILL have joy and happiness in your life again. 

Wishing you both the best!

Bill

It's interesting that I have heard so many anecdotes about birds after the passing of a loved one.  A couple of days after my wife Janet passed, I had a living room full of family and friends.  I opened my front door to let in some air, and a bird immediately flew through the doorway into the living room, flew circles around the group.  I was still standing at the front door with my hand still on the doorknob.  We were all speechless at what was going on.  After a few seconds the bird flew back to the door and perched itself on the top of the door.  It turned around to fact everyone and looked us over, then flew out the door.  Someone in the room exclaimed, "That was Janet!"  I think we could all feel it!

I've heard other stories about large white feathers being left at front doors, birds that just "hing around" and in one case, a bird that pestered my friend after her husband passed - he made a huge ruckus until she started talking to it.  Then it calmed down and just listened to her until she ran out of things to say.  Then it flew away.

There is a great story told by the late Wayne Dyer.  If you Google Wayne Dyer Butterfly Story, you can probably find a recording of him telling the story.  It's worth a listen and very encouraging.  It lasts about 5 minutes as I recall.  Best wishes!

The book "Hello from Heaven" provided me with a great deal of comfort after my wife passed.  It was an afirmation that their spirits are still with us and sometimes communicate with us in unusual and subtile ways to let us know that they are OK and that we will be too

Blessings to all!.

Hi am lila, my husband had liver damage through drinking, he tried several times getting help with drinking but failed and now he has liver cancer going through last stage, am emotionally feel helpless seeing a strong man worked hard all his life now this, age 55yrs. I feel alone, hurt, to see him this way, he has yellow jaundice and has abdominal pains, he has travelled back home to India today trying herbal treatment to prolong he's life. I am too traveling to India to see him in three week time, he's dying wish is in India. Am worried what care is he'll receive, I don't want him to be in pain