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Husband died yesterday

26 Feb 2018 06:03

My lovely husband died yesterday of pancreatic cancer which had spread to his lungs. Very aggressive, he was diagnosed on Jan 11 th this year, so very quick. Wed been married 44 years and he died one week after our 44th wedding anniversary. There is no good side to this ,I'm totally lost without him. The only consolation is that he's no longer in pain. His death was peaceful and without fear. He slipped away surrounded by his family. That was always important to me, I didn't want him to be in pain or frightened at  the very end, and I don't think he was. He's at peace now. Our life together was stopped in its tracks by cancer, so all of you battling on please enjoy every moment you have together, live for each moment, and take what pleasure you can from simply being together. Thanks for reading this post.

Re: Husband died yesterday

26 Feb 2018 08:03 in response to smt352

Dear smt353, My deepest condolences on the death of your husband. It sounds like he was a lovely man, and that you were very happy together. I wish you the very best. xx Harry

Re: Husband died yesterday

26 Feb 2018 09:11 in response to smt352

Just want to send you a vertual hug ... your words are truly inspirational and so lovely put ... l think others will be helped by them ... l know our words can't help the "missing" but I'll be thinking of you, lovely lady ... l hope you have close family around you at this time ... and he is right there, in your heart and that's something this cruel cancer can't take away ... Chrissie ❤

Re: Husband died yesterday

26 Feb 2018 09:33 in response to smt352

Hi smt352, 

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband passed away yesterday and on behalf of the team here at Cancer Chat I would like to offer you our heartfelt condolences.

I'm glad he had you and the family with him at the time and that he is now at peace.

It will be a tough road ahead but we are here to support you every step of the way.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Husband died yesterday

26 Feb 2018 20:17 in response to smt352

Dear smt352

My deepest condolenses to you. My beloved husband died on Feb 15th, he got the result from the biopsy on Jan 17th. Hardly a month. We were only together for 6 years. Like your husband, he died peacefully with all loved ones by his side.

I feel your pain.

Lots of hugs and kisses



Re: Husband died yesterday

27 Feb 2018 03:08 in response to smt352

Dear smt353

Please be patient with you self 

Re: Husband died yesterday

27 Feb 2018 03:42 in response to smt352
So very sorry for your loss my deepest sympathy xxx

Re: Husband died yesterday

27 Feb 2018 19:21 in response to smt352
Having lost my beautiful mom earlier this month, diagnosed in Dec, I have turned to this site fior support. I wouldn’t have done this before. Our lives have been turned upside down by this disease and for me, life won’t be the same again. It’s desperate that so many people are going through the same. I can’t imagine life without her being part of it. I’m so sorry for your loss. At moms funeral yesterday, I read and said that we were so lucky to be able to call her mom, I had 43 years of her and need to be grateful for that. To be happily married for 44 years is a huge thing, Try and remember all the wealth of memories you have which will help get you through the days, weeks and months ahead. Seek support and solace in family and friends, be gentle with yourself and a little selfish. Sending hugs xx

Re: Husband died yesterday

2 Mar 2018 22:01 in response to JeannieC

Hi JeannieC, Since my husband's death on Sunday, things have been dreadful. The sense of loneliness is unbearable, I'm very tearful, although I have wonderful support from our children and grandchildren.  seeing the undertaker to arrange the funeral was awful. He's being buried on march 15 th. But the hardest things were registering the death, and going shopping for clothes for my husband to be buried in. Two very surreal experiences. He'd lost so much weight with the pancreatic cancer that none of his clothes fitted him. I just  couldn't believe I was doing that. I'm replying to you cos I know you get exactly what I'm trying to say Jeannie, I hope you are managing as best as you can. Sending you sincere love and best wishes. Sheila

Re: Husband died yesterday

3 Mar 2018 12:31 in response to smt352
Sheila, darling Sheila. I wish I can be there to hold your hand and let you cry on my shoulder. The emptiness, the loneliness, the pain, the longing to want to reach out and touch him again.. longing to hear his voice.. I know it is hard Shelia. I feel your pain and I'm crying as I am typing this. I went to see him one last time before the undertaker sealed the coffin. I cried and cried, I held his cold hand, I stroked his hair, he looked so peaceful. It gave me a closure Sheila. People keep telling me life goes on, just keep going.. but these don't mean anything to me. I am like a zombie, just going about but feel nothingness within. But I am gradually gaining strength, thank God. I have been reading up on stuff people write about grieving and it helps give me strength too. When you are ready Sheila, I can share with you those articles. In the meantime, just keep breathing and think of him. I'm here for you. Message me whenever. I wish I can be there to hold your hand. Big hugs and kisses Jeannie

Re: Husband died yesterday

8 Mar 2018 20:34 in response to Harry2

Thanks Harry2, you're right, my husband was a lovely man. Thanks for your kind comments. I'm just plodding along, funeral not until next Thursday. So I've just got to keep going on.

Re: Husband died yesterday

8 Mar 2018 20:37 in response to Chriss

Thanks Chris's for your kindness. It's difficult for all of my family, not just me. The funeral isn't till next Thursday, so we're all still in an absolute daze.

Re: Husband died yesterday

8 Mar 2018 20:39 in response to 51yearsoflove

Dear 51yearsoflove, I feel you understand, I was fortunate to have 46 years of unconditional love with my husband, I will try to be patient with myself.

Re: Husband died yesterday

8 Mar 2018 20:40 in response to letarose

Hi letarose, thank you for your kind message.

Re: Husband died yesterday

8 Mar 2018 20:46 in response to rachted

Hi Rachel, thanks for your lovely message. I'm so sorry about your mom, she would have been really proud of you. Youre right, I've got some fantastic memories to draw strength from , at the moment we've still got to get through the funeral, which is not until next Thursday. It's very early days for you as well as me, so let's try to just enjoy those memories of happy times.