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Husband died yesterday

smt352
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My lovely husband died yesterday of pancreatic cancer which had spread to his lungs. Very aggressive, he was diagnosed on Jan 11 th this year, so very quick. Wed been married 44 years and he died one week after our 44th wedding anniversary. There is no good side to this ,I'm totally lost without him. The only consolation is that he's no longer in pain. His death was peaceful and without fear. He slipped away surrounded by his family. That was always important to me, I didn't want him to be in pain or frightened at  the very end, and I don't think he was. He's at peace now. Our life together was stopped in its tracks by cancer, so all of you battling on please enjoy every moment you have together, live for each moment, and take what pleasure you can from simply being together. Thanks for reading this post.

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    Dear smt353, My deepest condolences on the death of your husband. It sounds like he was a lovely man, and that you were very happy together. I wish you the very best. xx Harry

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    Just want to send you a vertual hug ... your words are truly inspirational and so lovely put ... l think others will be helped by them ... l know our words can't help the "missing" but I'll be thinking of you, lovely lady ... l hope you have close family around you at this time ... and he is right there, in your heart and that's something this cruel cancer can't take away ... Chrissie

  • Hi smt352, 

    I'm so sorry to hear that your husband passed away yesterday and on behalf of the team here at Cancer Chat I would like to offer you our heartfelt condolences.

    I'm glad he had you and the family with him at the time and that he is now at peace.

    It will be a tough road ahead but we are here to support you every step of the way.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Dear smt352

    My deepest condolenses to you. My beloved husband died on Feb 15th, he got the result from the biopsy on Jan 17th. Hardly a month. We were only together for 6 years. Like your husband, he died peacefully with all loved ones by his side.

    I feel your pain.

    Lots of hugs and kisses

    Jeannie

     

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    Dear smt353

    Please be patient with you self 

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    So very sorry for your loss my deepest sympathy xxx
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    Having lost my beautiful mom earlier this month, diagnosed in Dec, I have turned to this site fior support. I wouldn’t have done this before. Our lives have been turned upside down by this disease and for me, life won’t be the same again. It’s desperate that so many people are going through the same. I can’t imagine life without her being part of it. I’m so sorry for your loss. At moms funeral yesterday, I read and said that we were so lucky to be able to call her mom, I had 43 years of her and need to be grateful for that. To be happily married for 44 years is a huge thing, Try and remember all the wealth of memories you have which will help get you through the days, weeks and months ahead. Seek support and solace in family and friends, be gentle with yourself and a little selfish. Sending hugs xx
  • Offline in reply to JeannieC

    Hi JeannieC, Since my husband's death on Sunday, things have been dreadful. The sense of loneliness is unbearable, I'm very tearful, although I have wonderful support from our children and grandchildren.  seeing the undertaker to arrange the funeral was awful. He's being buried on march 15 th. But the hardest things were registering the death, and going shopping for clothes for my husband to be buried in. Two very surreal experiences. He'd lost so much weight with the pancreatic cancer that none of his clothes fitted him. I just  couldn't believe I was doing that. I'm replying to you cos I know you get exactly what I'm trying to say Jeannie, I hope you are managing as best as you can. Sending you sincere love and best wishes. Sheila

  • Offline in reply to smt352
    Sheila, darling Sheila. I wish I can be there to hold your hand and let you cry on my shoulder. The emptiness, the loneliness, the pain, the longing to want to reach out and touch him again.. longing to hear his voice.. I know it is hard Shelia. I feel your pain and I'm crying as I am typing this. I went to see him one last time before the undertaker sealed the coffin. I cried and cried, I held his cold hand, I stroked his hair, he looked so peaceful. It gave me a closure Sheila. People keep telling me life goes on, just keep going.. but these don't mean anything to me. I am like a zombie, just going about but feel nothingness within. But I am gradually gaining strength, thank God. I have been reading up on stuff people write about grieving and it helps give me strength too. When you are ready Sheila, I can share with you those articles. In the meantime, just keep breathing and think of him. I'm here for you. Message me whenever. I wish I can be there to hold your hand. Big hugs and kisses Jeannie
  • Offline in reply to Harry2

    Thanks Harry2, you're right, my husband was a lovely man. Thanks for your kind comments. I'm just plodding along, funeral not until next Thursday. So I've just got to keep going on.

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