Hi and welcome.

I don’t know much about your husbands condition but I do know about worry. I’m just coming to the end of my treatment for endometrial cancer. I know how worry can take over your mind especially late at night and when you are on your own. So when I saw your post I thought I would answer and offer my support. As you know from your previous experiences the waiting for a treatment plan can be difficult and I’m sure that you know the rule... take one day at a time...don’t look too far ahead and so forth. But you also know I’m sure that this is true. Treatments move on very quickly and although I don’t know when you battled your way through cancer, I think it will surprise you what is possible. I know it surprised me. When I heard the word cancer I immediately visualised hair loss, serious illness, walking round looking dreadful. Well fortunately I didn’t need chemo.but I’ve had two keyhole procedures within fourteen weeks of one another, a full hysterectomy and 94 lymph nodes removed. Two surgical incision infections and I’m just waiting for my second session of three internal radiotherapy. I look like none of those people on the cancer adverts and despite having been type 1 diabetic on insulin injections for 56 years I’m here looking forward to a cruise in four weeks time. I’ve had my ups and the very dark downs but I’ve got through it like many people here. Whatever the plan, amazingly we cope. But in those very worst of times there are always people like those you find here who will listen and support because we just know what it’s like for both the patient and their loved  ones.

Please let us know how things progress. I’m sending a virtual squeeze from my hand to yours and hoping everything turns out well.

Sundial

Thank you so much for taking time to reply to my post, it really helps to know that you are there, and so positive despite what life has thrown at you!  Good luck with your radiotherapy.  

I was never really a person for joining forums but your reply has really helped me to cope with things at this moment in time.  I'll be off to the hospital in a short time to see my husband and see how this procedure has gone (to remove his gall stone).  Thank you again. I will keep in touch and your virtual squeeze means a lot. I send one back with love.

I’m so glad that my post helped. I hope everything has gone well today and that soon things will start to brighten for you.

Thank you for your good luck wishes but I always say that luck has little to do with it, I just needed a good surgeon, a good oncologist and a good radio therapist and that I certainly have. In this instance thank goodness for the nhs!

Please let me know how the op went today and if you have found out anything more.

The hand  is still there available for a virtual squeeze any time you need it.

Sundial

Hello Sundial

There is a tumour in his pancreas -no gallstone.  He had a second scan this afternoon and that confirmed that it hadn't spread to anywhere else thank goodness.   He will have to have his pancreas removed but Drs said they could postpone till after our son's wedding as the recovery time after the op is long.  

It's been a roller coaster of a day but he and I feel much more positive than we did after the first scan.  Hopefully he will be out tomorrow.

Thank you again.  I have just updated family and friends (son is really upset) but it really helps to talk to someone who understands as you do.

You are very welcome.

It is I think always easier to deal with things when you have answers from the people who know specifically  about your husbands case. There is a plan now. It’s never a good idea to consult Dr Google but we all do it. The trouble is it’s all so general and each person is different. I’m sure, in fact I know that the medics are on your side. They will do their very best. They have to tell you exactly as it is, good and the bad so it’s encouraging that his doctor is so positive, It’s good that they can delay the operation until after your sons wedding. That shows there is no great urgency. And doubly good that the scan shows no spread. I think it will be a take each day at a time, busy yourselves with the wedding, see your son settled then onwards towards getting rid of the nasties. Recovery might be slow but you have each other to help you through it. I’m sure that once your son gets over the shock he too will be there for support. And just on a lighter note both my children were shocked but very supportive, my daughter attended appointments and came with me on each op morning. And my son... well he just told anyone who would listen that I’d had all my lady parts scooped out with a spoon!

Keep me posted when you can, I usually check in here regularly. I hope your sons wedding is a wonderful day when you can shelve this just for a while and that the way forward is positive. I still have my virtual hand ready for whenever you need it.

Sundial

Thank you for your wise and comforting words.  I will contact you again soon. X

:-)

Hello all

I've had trouble posting on this website for a couple of days - keeps telling me to change my password then I just get lines of code back!  Anyway hope this reaches you - Sundial and friends!

Had to make the difficult phone call to our son last night - his dad won't be able to come to his wedding a week on Saturday.  Hubby has to stay in hospital for intravenous antibiotics to fight his infection.  He was understandably upset but realises it is vital his dad stays in hospital.  He is recovering well, all vital signs are good, and he will be transferred to specialist cancer hospital so that they can manage his recovery further.  Hopefully he'll have his op then.  This all means he will be away from home for many weeks!  How will I cope?

Sundial - how are you doing?

Love Julie

Hi Julie

So sorry I missed your post last night. I’m dealing with quite a lot of tiredness and lack of energy since my second radio therapy and I was in bed by 9-30 last night....very unusual for me. Also sorry you’ve not been able to post especially when you’re going through a difficult patch. The vagaries of the internet!

That phone call must have been one of the most difficult in your life. My heart goes out to you. However I’m sure that your son, although disappointed, is of the opinion his dad needs to be where he is, Also your husband must be very upset... and there’s you in the middle picking up the pieces. Illness of any sort can be very cruel, not just physically but emotionally. 

Is your sons wedding being videod? Maybe your son and new wife could add a special message on it for his dad. Also perhaps you could plan a special photo album just for your husband. You know one that shows the ordinary, casual throw away times at the wedding not those captured by the photographer. The sort of things that you absorb when you’re at a wedding. Is there someone who could do that for you,  Maybe on a phone that could be printed and put in a book. Perhaps your husband could send a special message to your son either a little private video again on a phone or tablet or to be read out at the reception. If there is WiFi at the hospital and the reception FaceTime or Skype can be a good way to talk face to face when you can’t be together. You, your son and your husband could plan thses things together so they both feel your husband is part of the day. Forgive me, my practical side just coming to the fore. You may well have your own ideas and arrangements, 

Well Julie I hope the infection is brought under control soon, I know from personal experience how effective IV antibiotics can be. I needed  them after both my ops. Don’t forget to look after yourself in all of this.

I am sending an extra large virtual squeeze from my hand to yours.

Sundial

Hi Sundial 

Sorry to hear you you're feeling low. I hope it is temporary and you regain your energy soon.  How many more radio therapies do you have to have?  

Thanks for all your brilliant suggestions about the wedding!  We will certainly explore a few of these and will commandeer a good friend to do the informal photos.  The hotel may even be able to do a live feed which he could watch on the iPad (do I sound like I know what I'm talking about....I don't!).  Any way hubby's been moved off ICU this afternoon, which is good, but the infection is in his heart, which doesn't sound good to me.  However I take comfort from the fact that they didn't feel the need to keep him on ICU.  Do you ever get used to the ups and downs of this disease?

Again your responses have been so reassuring, thank you.  I'm back off to the hospital for evening visiting.  Things should be easier on a normal ward, at least he can have his phone and other visitors.  I hope you feel better soon.

love and hugs

Julie

x