Hello Steph168

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's recent diagnosis. It's obviously a difficult time for you both and it's understandable that you're feeling anxious about what the future may hold. 

We know that this period of time waiting for tests and results can be really difficult. The unknown is scary but often we hear members say that once they know exactly what they're facing it's much easier to deal with. 

It can often help to talk to someone during this waiting period and I'd encourage you to give our team of nurses a call. I know they will be happy to chat things through with you and try to offer some information and support to help. They're available Monday to Friday from 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. 

Keep in touch Steph and let us know how you're both getting on. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Thank you so much I am so emotional and he's taking it all in his stride. I think when we have everything all treatment stage etc will be easier 

It's so hard Steph. Just be kind to yourself and as I mentioned, if you want to chat, give the nurses a call. I'm sure they will be only too happy to chat with you. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

In a similar place here.

My husband (50 in August) was diagnosed with mucosal melanoma a few weeks ago, after an op to remove a growth starting to block his nose. He is having his first immunotherapy treatment today - which is why I'm anxiously googling things about cancer, instead of getting on with my work. I have googled his chances. Not great, even with treatment. But am trying to hang on to the thought that any chance is a chance. He has age on his side. Those survival figures are skewed by lots of more elderly people getting cancers late in life.

He too is fit and "well" going in to treatment - you wouldn't know he was ill to look at him. I'm worrying about the fact that his treatment is going to make him "ill", maybe not today's treatment, but perhaps a future one in a few weeks, since the effect of immunotherapy is cumulative.

I am finding it really hard not being able to be with him at the hospital and ask the questions he forgets to ask or doesn't want to ask. I know that he has to be "positive" going into treatment, which roughly means I have to keep quiet about my worries, and not say anything unless he brings the topic up, since his strategy for being positive is not thinking/talking about it.

I don't have any answers to offer. But there is something in knowing other people in the same place.

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that, I am the exact same as you not being able to be with him at hospital, not knowing how he's going to be with treatment or how long we have I've just never experienced these feelings before. I feel so guilty for crying as it's him that's going through this, I can't even begin to imagine how he must feel getting told he has this awful disease. I really pray for you guys also 

Steph 

I heard of someone resorted to popping out to sit in the car for a good cry, every now and again. It is something I've considered - I've had a good cry while out for a run! At the moment we are both working from home in the same room most of the time, so his diagnosis really is the elephant in the room. I think we do have to find some space to feel sorry for ourselves, as well as feeling for them.

Take care

I think that's a great idea never thought of that, thanks so much hope you guys are ok! Take care