How to psychologically recover

Hi Hilts 

Sorry to hear about your husband and glad he is disease free.

I finished chemo and radiotherapy only a couple of months ago so maybe my perspective is still quite current but I would say everything changes once you have been told you have cancer.In some ways its like post traumatic stress.

I feel like I am not the same person anymore.Nothing is going to slot back into the old life , however long you wait for an adjustment.

I have found new hobbies and friends , still have some of the old friends but don't feel as close to them as I am not the same person I used to be.They maybe identified me by my job (I had my own sucsessful business) I now feel like a square peg trying to fit into round holes which were my life before.

Sorry if this sounds quite negative , there are some positive outcomes , I please myself more and don't stress the small things.

I guess what I'm saying is don't think of this as a temporary state, this is life now and given a second chance we have to embrace each day and hope it will be a good one x

It's so hard to deal with the emotional impact , good luck xxx

Thank you every day the same worn out x

For me it was about rebuilding a new life.  It's not the same as my old life but can be as good if not better.  It about starting a new and exciting chapter.  Thank God I have been fortunate to survive and start this new chapter, you owe it to yourself and others to find a new happy!

Hi , 

Thanks to all of you that responded. 
Marywj- we took your suggestion of sessions at macmillian and He called them . That is in the process of being arranged- so thank you.

Billy- you are soo right when you say just doing what we like,  ergo- not doing stuff we don't want to with WHO we DONT want to, we are less inclined to please others and prefer to please ourselves (:

What all seem to be saying is that this is the new normal. Yes sure, but it is how to deal with 'bereavement' of your old life if that makes sense.?

We are certainly going on great holidays, making plans , laughing lots, BUT we are great over thinkers (: I suppose we are 'adjusting' and with that comes happy times and sad times.

Hopefully the sessions can train those thoughts into moving forward

thanks

Hilts

Hi Redski, 

Hope you are keeping well. 
I have just chatted with husband and yep, he's happy to link up, so I will respond to the Personal request (:

NOw , I might add at this point we are total tech slugs (: I am sort of okay, but him, well let's just say his Nokia 'traditional' phone does not do what's app (:.

I will now try and respond to personal message - bare with(:

Hilts

Awww, how lovely(:-

Thank you for that. I am the wrong age to remember what is said 5 mins ago, let alone on previous posts LOL- but I'm glad it helped- what you said now has just helped me.
onwards recovery goes. He is still disease free- as far as we know , for now. He has just finished 6 session with McMillan- which he found useful, but like he said , there is only so much talking you can do - but chunks and then a break seem to be the way to go. You are right, of course it is PTSD.

I think ultimately time is the only thing that moves on, there is no getting away from the fact it happened and will always be there, but I do feel we are moving on, but like you said, we too feel that 'bad news' is always around the corner- 10 yrs ago we wouldn't even be having this conversation!! Treatment has moved on sooooo much, so we are all having a few more throws of the dice and I must never lose sight of that.

I must be moving on too, as I don't think about it EVERY day now, just every few days , so again a good sign. But boy is it hard (:-

I'm also on here less and less- another good sign.

keep that faith

Hilts