On the 27th of March my Dad was diagnosed with blood cancer, AML (Acute Myloid Leukemia). I am 16, I have a 19 year old bother and 13 year old sister. All our worlds just collapsed. It was the most expected yet unexpected news. My Dad was very fit an healthy, we believe that he worked himself to hard and stress was a massive factor to just cancer.

My Mum has been so amazing throughout this whole experience, being there for him every single second. Bringing him lunch and dinner every day, doing every single piece of research you could imagine. Due to his chemo wiping his immune system he has been in isolation pretty much the past 6 months with about 2 weeks at home altogether. It has been absolute torture.

About a month ago he was transferred to a different hospital for his bone marrow transplant (stem cell transplant). He was finally discharged from the hospital 5 days ago now, which has been amazing! So as of yet, he’s accepted the transplant. But we don’t actually know for sure if he’s accepted it until it’s been 2 years since the transplant. It is just torturous because we Jsut cant feel fully relieved yet. He’s in remission, but at any day anything could go wrong? It’s still terrifying. I’m not sure if I’m like grieving my experience now or what but I’m finding myself constantly on the edge of tears and it’s so confusing because I feel like I should be happy? I’ve found it so hard expressing to people how I feel because literally no one gets it, especially friends my age. It’s a whole different world and I feel that if u haven’t experienced it u just don’t need get it. 

Has anyone experienced this feeling? What should I do?

thank u x