Hey Kat42

i wish I could answer that question and it’s one I often ask myself.  My mother always used to say you are never given anything you can’t handle, guess we special then ... maybe others wouldn’t handle what others have too.  Either way I believe in staying calm remain with the right mental attitude at any cost because we can and will deal with whatever is thrown our way.  In saying all that we also allowed to feel grumpy, upset or question things ... it’s our prerogative and it’s a way to vent which is healthy too .  I wonder if it would be worth you looking for nice smelling crystals you can burn in your bedroom or lounge (wherever you most restless) to fill the room with a calming smell.... I’m not sure they work but read lots of people saying they do.   Might be worth a try to help sleep and stay relaxed if nothing else.  I’m afraid your question will probably remain for some time... who knows if we will ever find the answer.

Big hugs and hope it’s a good day for you

JBee x

I don't have anything "profound" to say and I can't answer why you got here. I ask myself that question a hundred times a day. But just sharing how you feel on this forum reaches people, it helps them in their dark times. It's so comforting to read/hear someone put into words exactly how you're feeling. Nothing makes you feel more understood and less alone and I might be a complete stranger but I'm in the trenches with you and thinking of you.

Thank you 

I do all my meditation and have my crystals but sadly my mushy brain hinders my concentration sumwhat.

The worst thing today is being quite isolated. ..but I'm a bouncy ball and I will have a better day tomorrow or the next day.

Hiya, thanks for your reply

And yes.....it helps...knowing that I'm not isolated from the real world, although I do feel like it.

Talking to someone who is going through it and knows exactly what you're on about is worth alot.

My family are great but don't help with all the tea and sympathy,  it's not what I want, and by doing so , they make me angry with them.

They have stopped treating me like family and now im a wilting tragic little flower ...not impressed. Now it's caused me to pretend all is well and I'm doing 'great' just so they can stop this, and most of the time I do think, Screw cancer, we gotta go when we gotta go.

But it's other stuff that's starting to niggle me.

I can't drive, and I loved to drive, my car had to go

My friends have all grown bored, can't blame them, who wants to look at this bloated face everyday.

My family only want to see the happy me, I'm constantly at the drs , hospital or bloody pharmacy and that's if and only if I can get...but hey, I'm determined to fight it out and come back the better of it.

I'm desperate to go back to work , part time of course but for sanity reasons.

So as for in the *** trenches, shall we lift ourselves out, dust ourselves down and try again? And if I slip back in I'll keep on doing it.

What's your story ? Want to share.

Thank you for your words. it helped

Hi Kat,

I can't give you a proper reply right now as things are manic here (my mother has terminal lung ca and I think she needs to be admitted again, i'm her only carer and my Dr suspects I have ovarian cancer) but I wanted to write a quick reply because I don't want you to feel alone or forgotten about, i know what that's like. Will reply properly soon, be kind to yourself.

Dee

Hi....

Jese don't worry about a proper reply

You go and sort your problems and awful situation out...

I'll still be here..

Please take care and stay strong x

Hi Kat,

Trying to make sense of this will drive you insane. Humans have always tried to find patterns in random events, often where none exist.

Random mutations take place every day in everyone's bodies - most lead knowhere but others spiral out of control. There's no real rhyme or reason and certainly no moral imperative behind it. Murderers and evil people enjoy years of good health despite eating, drinking and smoking all the wrong things, whilst innocent babies who have never had the chance to do anythng wrong develop cancer and die. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is go with the flow and don't worry about things you can't control - more easily said than done, I know. We all do it from time to time but it isn't healthy. 

Best wishes

Dave