Hi Dave ...

there's no right or wrong way way to cope with cancer ... we all go through this journey of ours differently ... emotions can be all over the place ... so be kind to your self and know, we know how you feel ... that's the great thing about this chat room .. we can cry, rant, say things that we find amusing .. ask questions and anything goes ... we really do get it ...

So let your self have these feelings... then get back in the ring and take cancer on ... wer all there with you ... we all have one thing in common ... kicking cancers bum ... we may not always win but it's doing the best we can along the way ... while letting ourselfs have a rant too .. Chrissie x

Hi Dave.

I think we all do the "not to bad" answer when some days we feel like ****. When I had really bad days during treatment I told me husband sorry love it's an awful day today. So he would be more in touch with how I was going to be.

As for not being the same person yes you are it's just circumstances have changed your attitude and outlook but not the core person you are.

Being tired is only to be expected you have been and are going through a lot so cut yourself some slack.

planning ahead can become difficult . I used to plan smaller things, meeting friends, going out etc. Holidays were put on hold but then I started looking at were I wanted to go after treatment finished So looking ahead can be done.

Don't feel guilty no one can predicted the future, talk to your wife tell her how you feel.

Thanks Chriss, it’s really good of you to reply. Thanks for your kind words.  Best wishes to you x

Thanks River.  I’m sorry you are or have been through all this stuff.  Thanks for acknowledging my rant and for your reply.  Good luck to you.  David xx

I hope you are feeling now much better, David. I feel so sorry for you because nobody should go through such ***.( It's really awful time for you both, but you should not feel guilty for your state. My friend had cancer some years ago and she was so worried that her husband would feel like he is in prison with her disease. But now, thank god she is right and has recovered. When she felt very bad that times they started to make reparations they chose decking from dinodecking.co.uk, some pieces of furniture and so on. Due to this, her mind was always full of ideas and just lived. So find a way to distract your attention. It will help you both.

Hi harrisonMS well done for your friend, that's main thing keep occupied to pass time. I was diagnosed Feb 2016 been on palliative care since like your friend keeping going if can't find anything house wise, I'm on here trying to help people i find it therapeutic. (that's a very big word for me) it certainly does help me. Good luck to you and your friend.........

Billy 

P.s i also have to look after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care, but she sleeps fair bit keep a monitor in my pocket so i hear her. 

Hi currently on my 5^th of 6 chem sessions, of which I’ve had 4 infections. This one is a UTI
To top it all, we lost 4 panels off our fence during the storm on Sunday, which had to be fixed otherwise the dogs couldn’t be let out. Luckily a neighbour helped us, and we all got soaked. But as for Sunday evening and all-day Monday I was wasted. I’m still only running at about 40%.
The antibiotics they gave me last week did diddly-squat for my UTI, so I was called into the cancer assessment unit yesterday and they have changed the medication...so we’ll see eh. Anyway, chin up only one more to go. Only three more side effects to get and I’ve had the full house…wonder if I get a prize for that?

Hi Dave,

I think we all go through these  ‘hopelessness’ periods. 

That C word used when a doctor is looking at you??  It’s 

SO unbelievable. I felt stunned. Worst of all powerless. 

I am angry and indignant but it’s there each day I wake up. 

I have no words of wisdom. Other than just express your felings

abd don’t be afraid of them. We ARE vulnerable but that’s ok. 

I allow myself a down day. This thing is NOT fair and it’s a BIG ASK to get through it. You will manage your way. I think it’s about finding the way that suits you best. For me that’s activity and being with friends. I DO pretend I haven’t got cancer. Some people can’t I know because they feel so ill. So far I don’t. 

Started radiotherapy yesterday. So far so good. Expect it will get to me though. 

Go steady. Life is precious. Find the path that feels right. 

Kebb