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How do you cope with your grandad having terminal cancer?

15 Sep 2021 00:03

Hey everyone! 

I'm really struggling and need some help mentally in how to somehow cope with my grandad having terminal cancer... 

we are an extremely close family and he has literally been a dad to me. It's his third time having cancer and this time it turned out to be terminal. I'm really not coping well and was just wondering if anyone has anything that would help? He's really not lookin good and has now been told he can't carry on with his chemo :( 

I really don't know what to do with myself.. it is constantly on my brain and I haven't been able to go to work as I'm scared that every time I leave him might possibly be the last.. 

How do you cope with your grandad having terminal cancer?

16 Sep 2021 19:21 in response to Ambo11

Hi Ambo - first of all how are you? 
 

I came across your post and I had to reply. 
My grandad to also has terminal cancer (lung) - on the day he was diagnosed it was 2 years to the date he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Fortunately he had an operation which was enough to remove the prostate cancer, so to be told he had stage 4 lung cancer was the biggest shock ever! He was actually diagnosed because of a lump in his neck - prior to that he was felling totally fine and had no symptoms whatsoever!! He only got checked out because his gp initially told him it was a swollen lymph node and to go back in a month had it not gone down. 
The day I found out about the cancer my whole world fell apart. It's coming up to a year since the diagnosis and he's been incredible. He's currently had chemo and is now receiving immunotherapy. Like you have stated, we are also a really close family and my grandad has been the only dad I have ever known. 
How is your grandad coping? 
I wish I could say something to make you feel better and take away the pain and anxiety you are experiencing, I know first hand how that feels. Everything you have said I can massively relate to. I hope your work are understanding also.

 

take care and feel free to private message me if you need someone to talk to xxx

How do you cope with your grandad having terminal cancer?

16 Sep 2021 23:50 in response to T16d4wn

Hi T16d4wn! Thank you so so much for your reply. It really did put a smile on my face. Very grateful! I can't even put into words how that message made me feel!
 

Gosh.. that seems an absolute emotional rollercoaster you've gone through! I'm so glad to hear that your grandad is doing great! That is incredible news Happy what an absolute trooper he is! And what an incredible family you are to all be there fighting along side him

 

we've had a bit more news since I posted this and basically.. after his first session chemo, a few weeks ago, he got rushed to the hospital because his bowel ruptured and almost died! Since then he's not been able to carry on with his chemo.. yesterday he had a hospital appointment and got told that he still can't continue with the chemo until he's healed from his surgery (which won't be for a year :(... luckily the doctor gave him an option to do radiotherapy again.. unfortunately they don't know if it will actually shrink his tumour and could possibly go blind but they say if it doesn't work then we have a few months left.. it's just absolutely horrific! He has always been the strongest person I know so seeing him in this state is just the worst. 

luckily.. I think he's feeling quite positive at the moment as I think we were all thinking it was going to be weeks instead of months but none the less... it's still rubbish! 

it's really nice to talk to someone let alone someone who actually relates so I'm so grateful! And thank you for your lovely words and support. 
 

I am also here if you ever want to talk! 
 

thank you so much Happy xxx

How do you cope with your grandad having terminal cancer?

17 Sep 2021 05:41 in response to Ambo11

Oh, I'm so glad it put a smile on your face. I know during these times even the simplest things are hard to do. I'm having a hard time accepting my grandads diagnosis. He is and always has been the strongest person I know, he's the heartbeat of our family, so watching him endure such awful treatment is awful. 
 

Your poor grandad! It sounds like he's been through the mill. I hope he's feeling better soon! He's obviously a tough man to go through all of that and come out the other side smiling! I'm sorry to hear chemo isn't an option at the minute, praying the radio works for him. A positive mind can go a long way, and I'm sure with you be his side you will keep his mood high and make sure he remsins positive an upbeat xxx