My ex husband has found out he has cancer we have a good relationship with him we not telling our son who is 17 till we know more but I don’t know how to tell him he doesn’t handle things well I’m scared this will tip him over or bottle it all up
Hi there ... when my lovely mum died, my oldest son was 16, and just gone into boy service in the army ... I asked the same question as you... how to I tell him ... someone said to me ... gently, you tell him really gently .... honesty with love and helping them through and if they see you coping they do too ... but not saying anything and they find out, makes them react, as they need to feel included ... I'm not saying this is the right way, but it worked for me ... every one is different ... get all the advice and take the one your heart tells you ...
I told my granddaughter in a gentle way, and she has taken my cancer o.k and even asks me things that make me smile, with her wonderful humour ... hope it goes o.k ... fingers crossed for you ... chrisie xx
You obviously know your son better than I do but cancer doesn't go away. You need to ask yourself how he would react if he discovers his Dad had cancer and no-one told him until it was too late? My gut feeling is that this is a conversation his Dad needs to have with him, just as I have had with my sons - one of whom has autism and severe learning difficulties.
This is never easy but I'm firmly n the camp of telling everyone as much as possible, if only to avoid misunderstandings further down the line.
Hi Wyn, Not always easy, as a general rule I think you should tell him. It might be different if the treatment is not noticeable (simple surgery, overnight stay in hospital, quick recovery from surgery, no chemo or radiotherapy) and the chances of a cure are very good. And this is in fact my situation. Only my wife knows. My chances of a recurrence are very low. And, one year on, post surgery, I am happy with this. It allows me to 'park' my cancer, so that I don't think about it too much, although I am still subject to close surveillance, with ultrasound scans every 3 months. This is what works for me, and it works for my wife as well. But I think that for most people, and most situations, it is best to tell your children. Good luck. Harry
