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How do i tell my daughter ?

26 Nov 2017 17:21

Would anyone have any advice how I should broach the subject of telling my daughter that I am about to have surgery for the 1st of 3 brain tumours..although she is 9 she is socially more of a 4year old...all I have told her so far that mummy is going to have a funny very short hair cut soon? 

 

Re: How do i tell my daughter ?

26 Nov 2017 18:16 in response to Midnightfish

Hi there ... I know every one is different ... and every child takes things differently too .. this is just me and how I delt with it ... my little six year old granddaughter  (pictured) Emily... we told her nanny had a poorly boob and the Dr wanted to TRY and make nanny better ... so nanny may feel poorly for a while ... she came to visit me in hospital  a few days after ... sat on my bed and she gave me a gentle cuddle ... she called it nanny's ouchie (coz that's what noise we make when somethings sore) she was amazing .. and sometimes ask me if it's grown back yet ... but because we used gentle honesty she just accepted things and I think that helped her ... and try to answer her questions, that they come out with , truthfully but in a child's watered down way ....

Children are stronger then we imagine ... and if they see us coping they feel less afraid ... but hopefully some others will drop by soon with more info, and other ways to do this ... ... but want to send you a big hug brave lady ... hope it all goes well for you ... take care chrisie ❤ xx 

Re: How do i tell my daughter ?

26 Nov 2017 18:24 in response to Chriss

Thank you so much have always been honest but have been putting it off... will talk to her tomorrow 

Keep well Chloe x0x

Re: How do i tell my daughter ?

26 Nov 2017 20:23 in response to Midnightfish

Hi again,

This is never an easy thing to face, without knowing your daughter it would be hard to respond. However, I do have a son with Autism and severe learning difficulties - one approach that might work is the social story route.

If you Google social story and cancer, you should find some useful information.These are a couple of ideas I came across when looking for something suitable. 

https://www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/When-Your-Parent-H...

https://wellphrased.com/2014/03/27/sample-social-story/

 

Best wishes

Dave

 

Re: How do i tell my daughter ?

27 Nov 2017 14:01 in response to davek

Thanks davek, my daughter has attachment disorder..very simular to autism, gr8 website

thanks Chloe

Re: How do i tell my daughter ?

27 Nov 2017 14:13 in response to Midnightfish

Hi Chloe, 

I can see you've been provided with some really good resources by davek but I just wanted to stop by and share some information we have about talking to children on our website which I hope you will find helpful too.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator