Hi hpm7.  The best way to help your friend is simply to tell her that if there is anything at all that you can do to help her in any way, she only needs to ask.  Please avoid saying things like "There is always someone worse off than you" which is what someone said to me the second time I got breast cancer.   I don't mean to imply that you would be insensitive enough to say something like this to your friend, but believe it or not, there are some people who do actually come out with this kind of nonsense to folks who have just received a cancer diagnosis.  Cancer affects everyone different.  Personally, I just wanted people to treat me as normal.  I told them I didn't want anyone crying or making a big fuss.  You sound like a really good friend, and I wish your friend the very best of luck, Violet, x

Thank you so much Violet, it's difficult to feel so helpless when all I want to do is wade in take some form of control and pull her out of there. Trying my best to keep light and positive but also finding the balance of letting her know we can talk about the dark stuff too. She hates fuss and being centre of attention so no fundraising etc. but I am blessed to be her person and the one she confides in so I need to be equipped to best support her when she does. 

Thanks so much for the advice and wishing you well x