Hi Sarah wellome to the club no one wants to join . I can understand your thinking you seem to have got into circle of black thoughts ime not a dr or anything but i i thi you need a trip to see your gp maybe for a bit of talking therapy maybe cbt they train your thoughts to stop you going in circles and think more rationaly its amazing how grief can realy mess us up and we can easily get fixated like you have with fear about loosing you family our brains can be our best friend or worst enemy doesnt it sound funny but we have so many facets in our brains we can end up fighting ourselve .so please go see your gp see what they say they will help you best .paul 

Hi Sarah wellome to the club no one wants to join . I can understand your thinking you seem to have got into circle of black thoughts ime not a dr or anything but i i thi you need a trip to see your gp maybe for a bit of talking therapy maybe cbt they train your thoughts to stop you going in circles and think more rationaly its amazing how grief can realy mess us up and we can easily get fixated like you have with fear about loosing you family our brains can be our best friend or worst enemy doesnt it sound funny but we have so many facets in our brains we can end up fighting ourselve .so please go see your gp see what they say they will help you best .paul 

Hi There

I've just read your post and wanted to say you are not alone in feeling like this.

I lost my Mum suddenly nearly a year ago ... from not feeling 100% to diagnosis and dying was just under 8 weeks ... after being rushed into hospital she never went home.  All such a shock and she died in my arms ... totally devastated me.

I too feel anxious, I worry about my own health and I also fret about the rest of my family.  I think to some extent this is a normal reaction to grief and that the main thing is that you've noticed you feel this way.  I admitted I needed help back in February and started on Citalopram for grief induced anxiety, started on a low dose and have increased it the once.  I do feel that this has helped me deal with life better and I look at it as a temporary measure so I can gain my strength and get back the old me.  

I have also set the ball rolling with Talking Therapies as I can feel myself "wobbling" as I near the anniversary of her death.  Unfortunately a friend of mine is terminal too, again a sudden diagnosis, she is only 47 ... she has just been admitted to the same Hospice as my Mum was in, I visited her yesterday ... lots of emotions have been stirred up.  Life can be so unfair can't it .....

I would recommend you speak to your GP but please feel assured that you are not alone in how you feel.  Grief has many different disguises and all we can do is take a day at a time......

I miss my Mum so very much, I console myself that she is no longer in pain and I did all I could to support her ... she will live on through me  ... xxx

Take Care .. sending much love 

Alison

xxx

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum, I cannot imagine the pain you went and are still going through. It is one of my biggest fears now, losing my mum. 

My nans death was also sudden, she had been given the all clear and 3 months later was told it had come back and to expect to live no longer than 6 months - she died 2 days later due to a blood clot in her lungs all alone in the middle of the night at her home :( 

I will definitely take your advice and see my GP, I cannot live like this worrying every second of everyday that a family member is going to pass away and I even start to feel the emotions as if they had, it's very very depressing and I admit I need some kind of help to get through these horrible thoughts. 

Thank you for sharing your story with me and letting me know I am not alone x

Thank you for your advice I will definitely see my GP and see what they suggest I do or take to help me overcome these thoughts. 

There is no rule book ... you have to just ride the waves.   

Grief manifests itself in so many ways .. this I have and still am discovering.  Talking is good as is crying they are all ways of release.

Keep in touch ... like I said you are not alone .. xxx