My Mum was dis-orientated in the later stages and because the curtains were drawn where her bed was, in the lounge she would sleep a lot during the day then wake up in the middle of the night crying out to either my Dad or my sister.  She said some pretty mean things to Dad and that was hard to deal with.  I visited twice a week to give my Dad a break so that he could go out shopping and just get out of the house.   I would walk away feeling mentally exhausted, so I understand that you feel you can't spend all day at your Mums.  On the train ride back to my home I would feel so broken, I had to remind myself that the nasty things she was saying were not her but the cancer.  Five years from her death I am able now to focus on the good memories but it took a long time.  

and now it's happening all over again I do feel like the 'Groke' (a ghost like character from the Moomins stories who everyone avoided because they didn't understand her)  Some people's attitudes have shocked me, people I thought were real friends have abanoned me but other people have been supportive.