Hi there - I'm so sorry you have had this diagnosis. I'm afraid I don't know anything at all 'medical' but I do know what it's like to be scared of cancer. I'm absolutely sure that all those feelings - anger, rage etc. that you describe are perfectly normal. People will be along here who have experience of being diagnosed with cancer & are being treated & they'll offer you lots of advice & support. I just wanted to post so that you don't feel you are being ignored - you certainly are not. It does sound as tho' it's been caught early & that has to be a good thing. 

As I say people who know much more than I do will be a long to help so hang on in there - you'll get LOADS of help, support & advice here. All the best to you. x

thank you.

your reply means alot, sometimes it just helps to get it all out and write it down. i started keeping a notepad with me so i can write it down when a wave hits me, seems to be working well for now.

xx

I had all those emotions (and still do) when my husband was diagnosed 1 month and 1 day ago.  I started a journal and write in it every day.  Sometimes it is painful but I find it helps.  xxxx

Hi, I had the same diagnosis today and have exactly the same emotions, it’s crap isn’t it?!? 

My husband works abroad so I had to tell him via Skype, my daughters have left home and I can’t bring myself to tell them yet.

I feel rather numb and my brain is all over the place, I’m sure I’m over reacting but the bloody C word is terrifying.

I’m sure we’ll both be fine  but I’m here if you need to chat anytime!

R x

Hi R! 

It really is ***** !! 

I struggled massively with the C word. So me and my besties called it Cyril. We gave him a hilarious back story that makes us hate him even more. They asked me to the cinema tomorrow and asked me what Cyril would like to see to! 

Sounds crazy I know, but I am trying to use humour and logic to settle my self. It’s worked about 70/30 for the best so far. 

I only told my parents part of the story and totally dumbed it down to protect them. Now I feel like they don’t care as I’ve played it down so well they think it’s nothing. 

I go from being heartbreaking sadness to rage to guilt to numb in about 0.7 seconds. 

I now have let anxiety in and I keep thinking my besties are gnna get sick of me talking about it. So I’ve stopped texting them. They all have their own problems and lives, they don’t need me bleeting on! 

Its horrible, but we will get through this! I feel we are at the same kind of process stage so always here if you need an ear! 

Stace xx

Hi Stacey (and Cyril)

OK, the bad news is you have Melanoma - which IS a real cancer even though uneducated people don't think it is. The GOOD NEWS is that it's Stage 1 so that means it's been caught early (very important) and it's been removed - a wide local excision will ensure that any naughty cancer cells aren't lurking in the surrounding tissues. Only 5% of Stage 1 patients have any further problems which means 95% don't!! Great odds. You will also be monitored with regular check ups for a time which means you are in good hands - this helps with any worries you may have and you can point out anything you think looks dodgy & they will remove it if they agree. That is your 'safety net'.

So, things aren't as bleak as you first think. It's hard because your immediate family & social circle may not have come in touch with melanoma before (whereas most people know someone with breast or lung cancer). That means it's hard to share your fears as your family & friends don't realise how scary all kinds of cancer can be. You sound to have some great friends who I am sure would love to help you, if they knew more about melanoma. The following link is a hard hitting video that you and your family and friends should watch - it will help them to understand. We use this a lot in the melanoma community www.youtube.com/watch

Giving your mole a name is a great coping mechanism so you are already starting to deal with your diagnosis, even though it may not feel that way. Also, finding this forum will help you, even if you only want to rant and scream. Stick it to Cyril once and for all and then carry on enjoying your life. Please let us know how you get on,

Angie (melanoma patient)

Hi Angie! 

Wow what a video! That’s hard hitting for sure! 

Its made me realise it’s alot more serious than I thought it was. But that’s actually made me feel better and now I understand other people’s reactions when I tell them!

i already feel calmer after watching it. 

For now anyway! Haha

thanks so much for replying! I think you may have just easier a very tired mind to allow it to sleep a bit better tonight! 

Stace xx