Hi there ... your going through a really hard time at mo ... and I think you must feel overwhelmed by so many emotions... I can only give you info from my partner who like you nursed his wife (15years ago) and like your mum she didn't want a hospice and he nursed her , while like you too ,family came and went but it was all left to him 24/7 ...

he spent all day and night caring for her and although he wanted to do it , it left him exhausted and feeling lost and alone ... he went through all those feelings too and it took him years to come to terms with all the memories ... but I'm proud of how he kept going , although if he could have had respite care and had a break he would have coped much better ...

now I have the same cancer and I've told him I want to go into hospice if needed and told all my family the same as I know how much it takes out of people you love ... I'm sure your mum would want you to do whatever it takes to help you through this time ...

please don't beat yourself up ... you are being amazing and I would be so proud to have a daughter like you ... so take care of your heart ️ big hug  Chrisie x

Sorry to hear your news. I wish you all the best with your health. 

Thank you for your kind and lovely words xx

My mum passed away on the 31st of July from lung cancer. Like you and your mum she wanted to stay at home. On the Saturday she became very poorly and in lots of pain, we called out the doctor who suggested she go into the hospice to get her pain under control. She never came out and passed away on the Monday. 

Looking back I am glad she went to the hospice as they gave her care we couldn't eg stronger drugs. Also toileting became an issue as she couldn't get out of bed. 

My advice would be just go with what you think is best for you and your mum. You don't know what you will decide until you are faced with the decision. Whatever you decide don't give yourself a hard time. I have so many regrets now and wish I had done things and said things differently. 

I wish you all the best and if you have any questions I am happy to help. Its such a traumatic time for you all. 

I miss my mum every second of the day and wish I could turn back time. 

Look after yourself xx

Hi, my dad is 87 and 6 weeks ago we found out he has lung cancer that has spread to his liver and bones. He is now bed bound with a catheter and a medicine driver for his pain. We have 2 nurses coming in twice a day and have been given a career 3 nights a week. The district nurses have been amazing and Dall everyday and we also have a number to call day or not for then to come out and give him top up injections.  It is so tough as he is now pretty much unresponsive. I really hope you get the support network that is out there. 

Hi all 

I am currently off work indefinitely caring for my lovely mum with lung cancer stage 4 small cell. it is not an easy task but one I have promised my mum I would ensure she is able to die at home, as hard as it is, you should have the support from the district nurse team whom will and can arrange a care package for support to come in to up 4 times a day this will ease the pressure for you and deal with ya mum on a personal level for you. I find keeping my emotions under control very difficult and the fact I have practical moved in to my mums sleeping on an air bed hard as I have a hubby and 18 year old son at home but the both understand this is something I have to do. My mum has little time left maybe a week or a little more, she brought me up for 20 years and has always been there to support me thought so this is my little way of repaying her for been a fantastic mum.

good luck 

Hello.

Sorry to hear you've lost your mum.

My mum is totally refusing hospice. Even if she ends up in agony she still doesn't want to go in. She already has been catheterised. She's managing to use the commode still. 

I work as a carer from my actual job. So I am preparing best I can for when the worst happens. 

I will probably give you a message later.

Thank you for your kind words.

Stay strong lovely xx

Hello. 

Sorry to hear about your dad.

My mum was catheterised when she was in hospital over s month ago and still has it now.

The district nurses come to check mum's weepy leg. Have got a number to ring if need be. We have carers on a morning but mum doesn't want them washing her, I do it which I don't mind. So they take the strain off me by doing little household chores such as hoovering and washing up. 

Hello.

Unfortunately my mum refuses for the carers to help personal care. So I do it. They help with small household chores. They come on a morning.

Sending love and hugs x

Hi Zoe ... you really are amazing ... keep in touch no mater if it's an up or down day ... it really helps to put feelings down and all the different emotions you are prob going though is normal ... always here thinking of you ... big big hug Chrisie ️ X