Hi Tinkerbell,

Welcome to Cancer Chat, although I’m sure that you would rather be anywhere else but here.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis, but it is good to hear that he is positive about beating this. I wish that I could give you some hope but, unfortunately, it doesn’t sound good. You can both cope with it. Instead of looking at the big picture, try to take things day by day. This is enough to manage at any one time.

Is your husband going to have any chemo to try and slow things down, or do the doctors not feel that his heart could take it?

I cared for my Mum for 12 years with breast cancer which eventually metastasised in liver, lungs, brain and bone. She went downhill very quickly in her final year. You will need to borrow some of your husband’s positivity and be strong with him.

This is never an easy ride, but do your best to make memories while he is fit enough to do so. Do you have any family or friends who can support you through this?

Please keep in touch. We are always here whenever you want to talk.

I am thinking of and praying for you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for your kind words. No he can't have anymore chemo  he has had sepsis twice so they won't try. We have adapted to that way if thinking and trying to do day to day. I just miss having my husband. I'm jealous of every one and wish I could lead a normal life as does he. But cancer dosnt care who you are or where your from it's heartless. 

Sounds as if your mum gave it real good fight and goid on her. It's a such shame that this poxy disease wins 

Hi there ... so sorry bout your hubbys diagnosis ... your so right , life is not fare and never smoking too , life sucks ... so want to send you my heartfelt thoughts ...

the only thing I can say is make every moment you both have count ... my mum went suddenly with no time to say goodbye or l love you ... for her she'd have wanted to go like that ... but to have had even one day to say the things we were thinking and feeling , l would have held her and told her just how amazing she was ... you have the chance I never had ... you'll always have these days as memories your heart can hold forever ... 

big big hug , regards Chrisie X

Hi Tinkerbell,

I thought that chemo might be out of the question. It sounds as if you have both reluctantly come to terms with this but it can’t be easy.

I never thought of a diagnosis like this making you jealous of everyone, but you are so right. My hubby had a quadruple by-pass, then took double  pneumonia and a stroke in quick succession, before being diagnosed with Diabetes. He had to retire at 50.

This meant that I had to continue working to support the family. Finances were tight, because he was told by the DHSS that he didn’t qualify for any benefits, despite being told by the consultant that he would never work again. I had always intended to retire at 60, yet here I am still running my business to support us at 68. I do feel envious and, yes I suppose jealous, of friends and relatives who have just drifted through life with no apparent obstacles. I suspect that if I were to write a book on my life nobody would believe it, because sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!

I’m afraid that cancer is no respector of creed, class or colour. It takes us all irrespectively. The one good thing I have noticed since I myself was diagnosed with breast cancer 7 years ago and a second primary the following year, is just how much treatment has advanced in the 20 years since I lost my Mum.

Take care and remember that we are always here for you throughout this difficult time – it doesn’t matter whether you want information, support or you just want to rave about something – many of us have been where you are and know just how hard it can be.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx