Together we will beat cancer


Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 01:20

Hi guys I'm a 27 year old man, first time ever doing something like this, I just wanted some help or answers on something if anyone could help me please? I had hodgkins lymphoma when I was at the age of 13 and it came back after 13 years, I've been through the same thing twice now, I'm a young man wanting to settle down but with all the side affects I've been told I can't have kids I don't know how true this is I've had the whole stem cell transplants chemo I've had it all but I'm just really upset, I tried to bank my sperm before all my treatmeants but it came back at 0% sperm count, is ther anyone out ther can help me what can I do? Is ther anywhere I can go or do please someone help me thank you guys 

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 12:15 in response to Helples

Hi Helples. Welcome to the forum, though I'm sorry you have to join in such circumstances.

I am not a doctor, and what I know about Hodgkins is sketchy at best. However, if the semen you tried to bank had no sperm cells in it, then there may be nothing you can do about it. It appears that infertility is a common side effect of treatment, and you may have to come to terms with it - bitterly disappointed though I'm sure you will be.

About 20 years ago, the teenage daughter of a family friend was diagnosed with HL. She recovered well after treatment and is now happily married with a child - which she carried to term using an egg donated by her sister. I pass this on to you not to gloat, but as reminder that there are other ways to parent a child, and the real father of any child is the man who wipes away the tears, and dresses up as Santa Claus to give the Xmas presents, not the person who happens to provide a microscopic amount of DNA. That's simply a job for unskilled labour. 

So, grieve for your loss, but don't let it define you. When you're ready, I'm sure you'll find a way that you can become a real father to a child. 

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 13:47 in response to Helples

Welcome to the forum Helples although I'm sorry to read about your situation and for the reason you are posting.

I just wanted to give you our cancer nurses telephone number as they may be able to help with this. Their freephone number is 0808 800 4040 and their lines are open weekdays between 9a.m - 5p.m so if you have some spare time you could have a quick chat with them about this today.

And Telemando's words about what it means to be a parent are very true so do bear this in mind as well.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 13:56 in response to Helples

When I first read  your post I was (a) saddened and (b) wondered why no doctor had had the forethought to freeze your sperm before you had the treatment at 13 years of age.  (Pardon my ignorance I have been presuming that the treatment not the illness that causes the infertility - I looked up the NHS website.) I tried looking up puberty for boys but never found anything that would show me whether this would have been a possibility or not.  But as telemando says (and Jeremy Kyle if you have ever watched the show) a dad is not the person who provides the sperm it is the man who is there for his children at all times no matter what happens in life.  Obviously the same person might do both but the second element is the most important.  Don't let this stress you too much considering all you have been through.  You will be a father in every meaningful sense.

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 17:59 in response to telemando

Hi telemando just wanted say thank you for your reply much appreciated, and for women is different I've heard they still can have kids but us men it affects us in different ways, I was thinking Maybe other countries I could visit or isit end of the road basically and nothing can be done anywhere in the world I would love to father a child

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 18:02 in response to Annieliz

Hi Annie to be honest when I was 13 they did mention a few things but I was too young to know how to do anything if that makes sense sorry for being rude, I would travel anywhere in the world if any other country could help, but I'm just clueless, and I don't want take no for an answer, thank you for your time much appreciated again 

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 20:26 in response to Helples

To be honest I wouldn't have expected your 13 year old self to be worrying about freezing sperm for a possible fatherhood later on in life especially just after being diagnosed with a serious illness .  So don't blame yourself.  Anyway, it's a bit late now.  By the way, you were not at all rude anywhere in your post.  I expect you have already searched the internet for anything that might help you.   It is not so very uncommon for men to have a low sperm count and so their children are conceived with the help of an unknown donor (health etc checked and he doesn't get to meet the parents) and I do hope you might be able to reconcile yourself to going down this road.  Any woman worth her salt would agree with me.

Re: Hodgkins lymphoma

26 Jan 2018 22:27 in response to Annieliz

Thank you very much for your help Annie and kind words I've done abit of research but got nothing from it sort of thing like I don't how to find something I'm looking for, there must be something out there