Alan,

You are at the worst stage of all, when you have been told you have cancer but need more tests to find out what's what. 

Your head will be full of questions and fears, as everyone on these fora will have been the same.

i can't help with any information or expertise about your particular cancer, but I can say from experience that not knowing is the worst time. Once you have all the information about your cancer and what treatment you are going to have, it does get a bit less noisy in your head and a little less,scary.

Best wishes, good luck with your results and future treatment.  Try not to think about it too much. 

Christine xxx

Thank you so much for replying and making sense of why I have been unable to sleep or eat, yes it is fear of the unknown, the photos that was taken have caused my fears I wish I had never accepted them and waited for more information.

The consultants meet this Monday to decide on the best treatments, I will take your advice and get on with my life putting my fears to rest for now waiting for their professional guidance.

Thank you I appreciate your replying

Hi Alan

i'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. it must be an incredibly scary time for you.

there is lots of information about a oesophageal cancer on this site. Just pop it into the search engine and you will have plenty of encouraging information to read through

My top tips?

don't start googling..... I did it and drove myself to the brink of a nervous breakdown.

write down every question you have and when you are next with your medical team ask each and everyone of them. Do not leave the consulting room until you are happy you have got the answers you need.

if possible take a friend with you to all medical appointments. Two sets of ears are better than one and with heightened emotions sometimes you miss things or miss interpret things.

look after yourself. You will need all of your strength over the coming weeks and months. If you are having trouble swallowing solid food  buy protein powder drinks and make them with full cream jersey milk if you can. Are used to add peanut butter and/or avocado to them for the extra calories.

finally, remember, people survive oesophageal cancer. It is not the death sentence it once was.

take care

ruth 

Thank you so much for replying, I hope you will accept my friends request.

I am sat here with my two dogs wondering what I will do if I have to rehome them due to having no one to give cover if or when I receive treatments, my dogs are my life to lose them, just the thought of losing them brings tears, I am so confused, having no support and losing what I live for is the most scary.

I have not looked up information on Google all I have is from reading on here, I wonder if I will be contacted straight after the hospital meeting tomorrow or will I be left to carry on worrying, please let the doctors tell me what is happening.

Hello, I have accepted your friends request.

Alan, don't get ahead of yourself.the future must look very scary, please just focus on the next few days.

it's good that you have four-legged friends to keep you company. They certainly helped Steve and I when we were going through it.  

hopefully friends will rally round and help you. 

bon courage

And actually, now I think about it a little more, make sure you ask what support is available to you in terms of getting to and from treatment. if you are in Lincoln share you may well be referred to the xxx hospital at Nottingham. It is one of two centres of excellence for oesophageal cancer in the country. And please don't worry too much about your fur friends, I'm sure there are animal/dog charities who will support you if/when it becomes necessary. Perhaps help with dog walking or fostering them if you have any hospital stay.

Ruth 

I am now going to sit down and write a list of questions and my concerns, there must be some support for persons living alone ? When the Macmillan nurse and doctors told be I had oesophagus cancer they asked if I had any questions but of course I was in shock and trying to keep myself together, next time I will be prepared.

I travel to Boston takes about 35to 40 mins.

I will now go off line and consider what I need to keep me sane so I am ready for my first meeting.

Back tomorrow a little wiser, I hope.

Good night

Thank you

Post lady just delivered a letter from consultant to attend meeting next Thursday to discuss procedure/operation, I only had my endoscopy last Thursday, yes I was told then I had a large tumor in my food pipe but I expected and was told it would be three weeks for the biopsies results.

I had just started to settle down a little now this fast appointment as once again sent me back to anxiety and stress, why have they not waited for the biopsies results is my condition well advanced.

I do have a taste of blood constantly in my mouth and I do have trouble swallowing with pain forcing the food to be stopped from going down but if I persist with well chewed small amounts it eases.

I am scared about this fast track appointment and fear I have to attend this meeting alone, I never imagined I would end my life facing cancer alone, I have so many thoughts going through my head, do I refuse treatments to be at peace sooner or do I fight to carry on and if I fight what is there to fight for to sit in a lonely home - I have some big decisions to make.

hi alan i was just reading through the posts on here looking for advice as my stepdads just been told he may have a tumour in his osophegus but he needs to have tests to find out, and i came acoss ur post and it made me feel so upset that you are facing this alone, i just wanted to let you know i will be thinking about you and i hope life gets better for you i really do. keep the faith xx

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

Sorry to hear about your stepdad please give him my best wishes. I am starting to get my head around this cancer but not finding it easy, mainly because I have not had someone to talk it over with, but that is changing thanks to my Macmillan nurse.

I see my consultant for the first time tomorrow 14.00 my nurse is meeting me there, hopefully all my questions will be answered and on this Saturday I undergo a injection of radioactive jelly and a pet scan so all will become much clearer and hopefully give me the tools to fight this cancer.

I am going through stages having no one to talk with at home but I am coping, mostly.

Thank you again for your time in contacting me