Last September I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. To say my world was blown apart is an understatement. I’ve had 2 rounds of surgery. As secondary was found after first one. Luckily no chemo. Only 3 weeks of radio. People around me try and do and say the right things. But rarely do. I’m sick of being told how ‘lucky’ I am. And how now I can ‘get back to normal’. As I am cancer free!!  I want to scream and shout at those people. I don’t. I put on an act. And pretend I’m okay. Which is exhausting in itself. My partner I know. Is also bewildered by how I am. What I’ve become. He doesn’t know what to do around me. So I end up feeling lonelier than ever. All my friends because they think I’m fixed. Just get in with their lives. And assume I’m doing the same. Whereas mostly. I hide away. I do stuff. Go to my gym. Go for walks. Talk when I choose to. But I feel I’m just not me. I’m a different me. I started counselling 2 weeks ago. And I’m praying it will help me adjust to my new life. Otherwise. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.