Hi Guys,

Any possible solutions would be gratefully received, coz I haven't got a clue what to do anymore!

My wife (47) was diagnosed with stage 4a ovarian cancer about 6 weeks ago. Since then, she's spent 6 days in hospital for an abdominal drain (10 litres), has a District Nurse come out a couple of days a week for a fluid-around-lung drain, and has now been re-admitted - following her first chemo treatment on Monday - to hospital this evening because of a blockage which means she can't poop. We have a 7 year old son who is autistic. I am autistic too, and am severely struggling with everything that's happening to the love of my life right now. And then there's the need for both my son and myself (having aspergers) for routine, which has completely gone out of the window. I've spent a total of three hours at work in the past six weeks. I am now on unpaid leave, my wife is on sick leave which is about to revert to SSP. Every time I plan to go back to work, something crops up and I can't. I have lost almost three stone in weight in the past six weeks, despite trying to eat at least 2 small meals a day (can't manage more, I have no appetite). I feel incredibly weak.

And now I have been told by my GP that I either have bipolar or borderline personality disorder (in addition to severe depression), and I've been referred to the local mental health team, which means I can't get treatment until an official diagnosis. And when I do get treatment, it'll probably be something like lithium that will completely wipe me out... and I will have a cancer-stricken wife, a 7 year old autistic son to look after at the same time, and a job that I can't get to (won't get too much into the logistics of that one - my wife used to give me a lift to the train station before she got ill)... I  am at my wits end. 

I am 51 years of age, and a civil servant of 26 years. Two years ago, I had a nervous breakdown and was off work for 3 months, all certified by the GP. When I returned to work, I was immediately handed a disciplinary notice - warning that my sick leave would be monitored for the next 18 months- because I had taken more than 7 days of sick leave in a rolling year.

So, right now, my wife is possibly dying and in hospital, I am seriously mentally ill and without treatment, I have no realistic way of getting into work. Myself and my son are both autistic... and so on, and so forth. I have no close family or friends to fall back on, either.

Solve this one! I dare you!

Best wishes,

Mark