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helpless

17 Apr 2017 18:17

Hi .. my dad was diagnosed with secondary cancer 3 weeks ago after doctor wasted 5 months miss diagnosing a lump on his leg .. we have seen a Cancer of unknown primary consultant and he is giving a CT scan on weds ... the leg no longer apears to trouble him as much but the pain in his lower back is so bad his gp has put him straight onto Oramorph. ..I feel absolutely helpless and ashe I try to be strong for my mum ..children etc inside I'm totally heartbroken. .. 

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:26 in response to dollshouse

My dad had returning cancer after going into remission and it's a tough burden to bear x find the strength to talk to someone and have a good cry or better still try to talk to your mum she will be trying to do the same as you and be brave, she will really thank you for sharing you feelings. I wished someone had told me this when I was going through a tough time and trying to do what you are doing now, staying strong for everyone. Me and mum have had many chats since then and both of us said we were trying to be strong for each other and what we really needed was the comfort only each other could give. My thoughts are with you and your family xxx

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:51 in response to dollshouse

My name is Jonathan I am 17 years old and I found out a year and a half ago that my dad had cancer. At the moment he is doing better but I feel there are things I need to say and talk to but don't know who to share them with. I don't want to share them with my mum and dad as I don't want them to worry about me as they already have a lot on there plate. I was wondering if this would help as I didn't really know who to talk to or know how to deal with it. 

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:54 in response to jonathan

This is tough particularly with you being so young and have a lot of life changes to deal with at the same time, are you are school or college still? Maybe someone there can help? Or the Macmillan support is brilliant? 

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:54 in response to MrsADams

Yes I am still at school and so are my siblings

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:55 in response to jonathan

Is there a teacher or counsellor that you could talk to? 

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:57 in response to MrsADams

I talk to a teacher and tries counselling but felt it wasn't worth it and I didn't want people to judge me or think I was being weak. I just feel that people don't want to keep hearing my problems as millions of people are going through the Excact Same thing 

Re: helpless

17 Apr 2017 23:57 in response to MrsADams

What questions do you have? Maybe someone on here could help?

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 00:00 in response to MrsADams

I'm a teacher myself and I can honestly say no teacher will ever think you are being weak or wasting their time, If any of my students ever come to my first thought is how brace they are for telling me their feelings and trusting me with such emotions

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 00:01 in response to MrsADams

I find it really hard not to be angry with my dad. I feel really upset and bad for him but it's like he is a different person. He is more grumpy and inpatient and I don't feel I can talk to him and when I do he gets upset

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 00:06 in response to jonathan

This will happen, chances are he's is worried and in pain, try to play games with your dad like cards bird games chess etc, whatever you like, it's a way of spending time together and talking without the pressure or just sitting face to face, even have a boys night watch some films, sport get some beers (non alcoholic of course). He will probably apriciate not being the focus and doing something you would usually do together? 

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 00:10 in response to MrsADams

I will try. Thank you, Im glad I know there is somewhere I can talk 

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 00:13 in response to jonathan

Talk freely and at least you are behind a message so you can cry your eyes out if necessary and no one will know, stay strong young man and know we are all here for each other on here! 

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 14:57 in response to jonathan
Hi, I myself have 2 daughters of 20 and 18 and try are very close your my dad ... I've tried to be honest from the beginning with them. .more really to protect them ..this forum is good in the respect that you can share ur worries behind the keyboard. . I'm also a teacher and it is a good idea to confide in them if u can xxx

Re: helpless

18 Apr 2017 19:42 in response to dollshouse

It's so hard, I'm not doing great at staying strong.  My dad had backache and was told to go to physio until he collapsed and was hospitalised and they found cancer in his brain, spine, adrenal gland and shoulder.  There is nothing they can do.  I'm so with you but you need an outlet and if that is in here to me you are more than welcome.